#but i loved americas character and her performance was so sincere and genuine it was truly one of the best in the movie

[lesbinewren]

also anyone who talks about barbie and brings up ryan gosling or michael cera before margot robbie or america ferreras performances is on my list

[watchtheblog]

all hands on d*ck

as always, hello to my 9 true real life friends, some of my 22 (instagram) “close friends”, my 40 internet besties, the handful of you i was able to lure over here with a LiNk iN BiO, the growing number of [redacted] who are unnervingly conspicuous with their surveillance, maybe some other weirdos and haters!, at least 2 of my exes, my therapist if i ask her to read this to understand me better, my daughter in 14-18 years, and anyone else who is here and can read this!!

as a preface to a list of extravagant treasures i wish to receive this holiday season, i am going to tell you a little story. if you don’t care and just want to buy me a gift or just want to use this to curate yours, scroll to the bottom. there are words and jokes down there too if you’re here for all of it!!! (if you need inspiration from years past, i’ve been making this list for 10 years.)

the only times i feel safe are when i am at home, or when i am 5000 miles away from it. anything in between causes absolute chaos within my emotional microbiome.

in america, i am a sentient eggshell and all external stimuli are hammers. outside of america, i am an invincible-cartoon-fireball capable of any and all things through the EU.

once a week i volunteer, and once a month i drive 40-90 miles in one of the four directions to buy a lotto ticket at a random authorized lotto retailer (surprisingly not sponsored), and that’s it.

when i’m home, i do the same thing every day -  i wake up, i go to cult (this is what i call meditation because i’ve been doing it consistently for a year and i have no idea why), i write down everything i’m grateful for*, and i read (a literal book) for 20 minutes before performing my morning ablutions and walking downstairs to drink poison (espresso) and sit in my office tip tapping my ipad for 6-8 hours. then i watch some of the worst television you can ever imagine until it’s time to go to sleep, at which point i do a cult bonus track - it’s called “three good things”, and it’s exactly as the name implies - eat two peppermint patties v slowly, and go to sleep with my television blasting and every light on.

~ (*ok sorry for being sincere for a moment but i need to genuinely recommend the gratitude journal practice because it changed my life. thank you for only engaging with this if it aligns positively with you and excluding it from your personal dossier of me if it doesn’t. anyway, i also love cult because it allows me 30 minutes of controlled focus on every thought i have ever had in my entire life without even a single moment of peace. my inner monologue is a thought-orgy and i am merely a captive and reluctant eavesdropper.) ~

when i’m on vacation, i am a different character from white lotus every day.

this year for my birthday, i chartered a yacht off the amalfi coast (cameron) and sat on it alone for 3 days (ethan). on the 4th day, danielle arrived and we confused the crew by being on vacation together in italy but not fucking. (daphne/harper)

on the 5th day, danielle found out i don’t like music (you’ll need this information later), and on the 6th day, God created man, and one of them asked us if we’d like a massage.

being of sound mind, my first thought was to question this person (employed as a deckhand) on his ability to massage.

he assured us both that he and his fellow deckhand could “of course” massage!

having seen every episode of every franchise of below deck i was wary but i trust men intrinsically (tanya) and i love nothing more than to be consensually touched (dominic) so i said great, we’ll take two! and we settled on “in ten minutes” for the time.

he returned moments later to lead us in a troubling talk on massage logistics - namely, where the massages would take place and on what apparatus.

you, like we, may be thinking: what about a massage table on the sun deck? and that’s a great thought. however, there were no massage tables, so our two deckhand-cum-massage therapists decided they’d conduct the massages they assured us they were equipped to conduct on twin beds in one of the downstairs bedrooms.

10 minutes later we arrived to a room large enough to accommodate two adults lying down, or a small child standing up but being v still:

danielle and i pretended this was not weird (mia/lucia), and as soon as our four adult bodies were within the same energy field we all signed a spiritual contract to never speak about this again! unfortunately danielle and i signed in watercolor and have spoken about it ad nauseam every day since.

one of the guys asked what music he should put on, but before he finished the question, danielle had interrupted him in an octave i’ve never heard her voice go to utter the words “MERCEDES DOESN’T LIKE MUSIC.” … effectively solidifying our fate to have the weirdest experience of our lives in deafening silence!

without leaving the room, they told us to lie down - which we did - and they each returned to our respective sides to *SIT ON THE BED* and massage us with this australian jerk off oil while our faces were mushed sideways into a twin bed for a staggering and completely arbitrary 101 minutes.

the only time ive ever had a massage this unmethodical is every time my boyfriend wants to have sex, and the only reason this one ended was because someone came in to chastise them for being *below deck* for so long… at which point they both got up and left without saying a word!!

anyway ~ that’s how i met your mother ~ (sorry i’ve taken this out and put it back in 8 times. it stays!)

danielle and i are two asexual freaks so this (our villain origin story) never registered to us as a potentially sexual thing, but it has to a lot of people we’ve told! … and to those people i say: interesting. please consider my trauma when selecting a gift from the below list to send to me 😈 thank you!

THE LIST (disclaimer: all i want for my birthday is for everyone i love to be healthy, happy, rich and divinely protected (so far so good tbh!!!!), and for you to donate to the boys and girls club if you have the means. this is merely a list of things i think would be funny or nice or silly to receive:)

the intangible: to pass a law abolishing all waters i don’t like - there are too many to name, but at the very least let’s start with dasani, aquafina, and nestle purelife, for someone to defund Revolve and redirect the money to fund research to corroborate my theory that people who wear clothes that say “spiritual gangster” lack a functioning frontal lobe and should not have rights, for everyone who doesn’t like me to continue doing that because that must be very taxing, for prison reform that allows “love after lockup” to expand it’s filming schedule, for mary kate and olivier to reconcile (please click that link if you’re new here), for jeff bezos to give me a little something in his will, to be paid for all the vacations i’m going to go on in the future and that they never involve a massage on a twin bed.

the ones you can buy: * these gorgeous little poison cups to elevate morning beverages content. also gorgeous!! these are interesting! * i’m looking to redo my whole personality in the vein of someone’s really religious auntie. it starts in the dining room, here. for more in the collection, may i direct you here. *a stunning throw: in pink!!! or this cheaper (v reasonably priced, tbh!) one, the blush pink not that crazy pink in the larger size! * this thing for my desk. i would accept this but don’t really like the branding. * a 5 night stay at this hotel (a suite or above)

* a black birkin with gold hardware in 25 or 35. no links, iykyk * this coat in grey or camel. xs! * buy danielle’s book. (this story is not in it, but better ones are) * this tray to eat chips and peppatties in bed. this will likely be sold out but here. * i don’t want these but definitely want to make you aware gucci are selling incense for one hundred dollars, and perhaps we should collectively look into deplatforming them.

* a pair of solid gold 3 inch hoops. i have no links :( * i’d like to speak to the medium who has a show on bravo, please. this is him. i do not want to be “read” on the tv show. i do not want tickets to see his live show. i want to speak to a dead person through this man. one on one. (you can come if you organize it.) * these slippers. size 8. * this bracelet and bonus if you have a platinum amex, you get $50 back or something for shopping at saks! love to pay it forward!! * this jug of perfume for a room! * this jug for water at varying temperatures. matte black.

* this art, this art, this art, this art, or this art. i’m going to buy this for myself but i love this artist, so i’m sharing. * this alluring bookend that is on sale (x2)! * i don’t need this but i like the way it looks and so i’m passing it on. it’s a weight but who exercises at home… so it’s a hat for your floor. * trying this again: for someone to create a “the floor is lava” set for my birthday where i can do “the floor is lava” SEPARATELY with each of my 9 friends - none of whom know each other, which is intentional and by design. * these shoes. size 8 * these earrings. i tried to buy these on black friday but then i forgot. i may just buy them myself. who knows!

* a real two hour massage * caviar * i like her bc i think we have the same body * these french almond praline sugar things from provence that i bought at duty free and i’ll never find again. and i went on this website and tried to email them to ask them to send them to me (it appears they cannot do that) and i really don’t want to get into it but i spent hours trying to secure them bc they’re that good so i guess this is not an item it’s just a pass on should you ever be in provence or at an airport in france. * a $24,000 tribute to the mascot for Word.

some passing it forward gifts (things i don’t need (because i own them most likely) but they are nice!!) * these cute, non threatening pajamas * my favorite luxe, somewhat threatening pajamas * the only sheets i allow on my bed and body are pratesi but danielle bought me monogrammed pillowcases (super, binx) from here and !!!! * i think i always recommend diptyque candles but we are also a cade (you have to ask for this, they don’t keep them out 😗) household now and newly a boysmells household. * skincare is kind of a lame gift bc everyone’s skin is so different but i have the most reactive skin in the world so i’d like to pass along three of the only things that don’t ruin my life: this (i’ve been using for 3 weeks) is soooo nice, as is this which i’ve been using on and off for a month but the price point was set by the us national debt clock or something. (their instagram clickbait lip balm thing is a waste of money and yes i wasted my money!) also i love this and have used since it launched :)

ok ty for reading come again bye!

[lesbians4levinson2021]

MoM

sooooooo I just got back from watching Dr Strange 2 so spoilers under the cut

It was pretty good! The energy of the cinema I was in definitely helped with my enjoyment of it as they cheered when certain things happened and all that jazz but firstly the stuff I liked:

THE HORROR VIBESSSSS!!!! Unexpected but so good?? like I genuinely jumped when Wanda appeared many times and when she looked straight at the camera? OMG IM OBSESSED which leads me to my second point of things I liked WANDA HERSELF!!! omg she was so cool and badass but also redeemed herself at the end which I liked. Elizabeth’s performance was as always amazing and yeah her character is just so cool, especially in this film. I also really loved the ways in which they kept the fight scenes fresh, from the two doctor stranges’ fighting it out with musical notes to strange and mordo going back to the classic hand to hand combat it stopped any sense of repetition between the battles

Now what I didn't like:

The way in which America “realised” her powers, like it was just Strange saying “hey you’ve been controlling them the whole time” and then her going “oh yeah” and then just doing it??? Like idk let queen figure that shit out by herself or something also during that ‘heart to heart’ scene between her and zombie Strange I couldn’t stop laughing like idk who thought it was a good idea to have a sincere scene with a decaying corpse but it shouldn’t have happened lmao.

Next the cameos, I’m kinda torn on this because I LOVE JOHN KRANSINSKI!!! Also Professor X along with the alternates of Captain Marvel and Carter were cool but like they showed up and died almost instantly like 💀 and although I’m glad we don't have to see Peggy’s nazi ass again I feel like all of their characters could’ve been more in the film (before they died towards the end which I absolutely felt was necessary otherwise it’d probably get confusing with all these canon MCU alternates existing together). It kinda seemed that they were really only there after Marvel saw the success of NWH having secret cameos so MoM wanted to do the same thing 🤷‍♀️

So overall a good superhero film that I wouldn’t mind watching again even for just the Easter eggs but in the grand scheme of Marvel films? Its not in my favs  

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Music is so good for the soul, and during these hard times we must all help each other to find moments of joy.

- Dame Vera Lynn (1917-2020)

Dame Vera Lynn, the beloved British singer, died 103 years old on 18 June 2020. Surprise at her death is swiftly replaced by the sad realisation that it marks the end of a chapter in British history. Many of those who grew up with her music have died during the Covid-19 pandemic. How poignant that her death should come on the day that President Macron arrived in the UK to mark the 80th anniversary of General De Gaulle’s rallying cry to the Free French and to give the Légion d’Honneur to London, the city that weathered the blitz in 1940.

From the battlefields of France, the Netherlands, Italy and North Africa to the Far East, whenever soldiers gathered around a radio set or gramophone, the smooth vocal tones of Vera Lynn were sure to be heard.

It is impossible to gauge whether the outcome of the war was swayed by songs like ‘There'll Always Be an England’, ‘We'll Meet Again’, ‘(There'll Be Bluebirds Over) The White Cliffs of Dover"‘ and ‘A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square’.

But for countless men in uniform, the lyrics and the slim, wholesome young blonde woman who sang them seemed to offer a vision of what they were fighting for.

To modern ears, the words might sound corny but at a time when Britain stood proudly against the Germans, their patriotic appeal was irresistible.

Vera Lynn epitomised an archetypical, essentially decent Britishness, practical and fair-minded - notions which shone through the songs she sang.

Even her version of the German soldiers' favourite song, ‘Lili Marlene,’ managed to sound like a patriotic lament, a far cry from the darker sexual undercurrents implicit in the versions by Marlene Dietrich and Lale Andersen - ironically both of them anti-Nazis who became the German forces' sweethearts.

Vera Lynn's most famous song remains We'll Meet Again, recorded in 1939.

Lynn’s wartime popularity was boosted because of the song.   The song’s appeal to love and stoicism - "Keep smiling through/Just like you always do/ Till the blue skies/Drive the black clouds far away" -- made it the perfect war-time anthem. It proved powerfully uplifting for departing soldiers, and it has endured as the defining song of the British campaign. The song re-entered the UK charts at No 55 amid the 75th anniversary celebrations of VE Day.

As she wrote later in her 1975 memoir, Vocal Refrain: “Ordinary English people don’t, on the whole, find it easy to expose their feelings even to those closest to them.” We’ll Meet Again would go “at least a little way towards doing it for them”.

In later years, the song, with its reminders of home and exhortations of courage, has become an indispensable part of national commemorations. And, with its swooping and strangely haunting melody, it has entered into popular culture. It forms an ironic accompaniment to the explosion of atom bombs in Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964); it is deployed with alienating effect in the Pink Floyd song Vera (The Wall, 1982); and it provides the eerie aural backdrop to the Tower of Terror ride in Walt Disney World, California.

But when Lynn began singing it at the age of 22, she had little idea that she would be singing it for the rest of her life.

Indeed the song found favour again this year when Queen Elizabeth II, in a rare public address to the nation, urged Britons to remain strong during the coronavirus lockdown.

"We should take comfort that while we may have more still to endure, better days will return: we will be with our friends again; we will be with our families again; we will meet again," the monarch said.

Vera Lynn was born in London's East End on March 20, 1917 as Vera Margaret Welch.

She began singing in local clubs at age seven and joined a child dance troupe, Madame Harris' Kracker Cabaret Kids, at 11. By 15, she was a teenage sensation as a vocalist with the Howard Baker Orchestra.

She adopted her grandmother's maiden name Lynn as her stage name, making her first radio broadcast in 1935 with the Joe Loss Orchestra.

She worked with another of the great names of the pre-war period, Ambrose, whose clarinettist and tenor sax player, Harry Lewis, she was to marry. The couple had one child, a daughter.

In war-time, Vera Lynn came into her own, hosting a BBC radio programme, "Sincerely Yours", appearing in a forces stage revue, and making three films.

So what did Vera Lynn have that propelled her to stardom during the war, when she became the “forces’ sweetheart”? Youth primarily. She was in her early 20s when war broke out – Elsie Carlisle, the iconic singer at this time, was in her 40s and recorded very little during the war, while Gracie Fields, who was astonishingly popular in the 1930s, had the temerity to marry an Italian and sat most of the war out in North America.

The country was aching for a new female singing star and Vera Lynn – youthful, toothily wholesome rather than glamorous, and with an innate modesty that suited an austere and dangerous age that had no time for displays of ego – fitted the bill. She had a powerful, bell-like voice – at times she almost recites the words and employs oodles of vibrato to underscore the emotion of her songs – that was perfect for a singalong. It is when the audience joins in with her songs that you get a lump in the throat.

She came to represent so much, especially to the service personnel she entertained tirelessly during the second world war. She visited Burma, Egypt and India to give concerts for troops stationed there, an act of courage that should not be underestimated. These were difficult, dangerous journeys and not for nothing was she later awarded the Burma Star. She symbolised resilience and indefatigability, embodying a strength of character that transcended mere art. Nazism had no chance against this winsome, optimistic, joyful yet tender young woman.

Lynn gave up singing after the war but was persuaded out of retirement in 1947 and began a whole new international career, with appearances in the United States in 1948.

She became the first British artiste to have a US number one with "Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart", her most successful record, in 1952. However Vera Lynn's career foundered in the rock and roll era and she cut back on public appearances.

Artistically, it must have been infuriating to be forever associated with the wartime struggle and she did attempt to move on, recording a few Beatles numbers in the 1960s and even making a country disc in 1977. But nothing could shift the way she was seen by the public: a symbol, quintessentially British, of that unimaginably long, bleak, ultimately triumphant wartime struggle; an icon frozen in time.

She accepted her status as a living museum of wartime music and culture with customary good grace. “I never thought the ‘forces’ sweetheart’ tag would stay with me,” she told the Radio Times in 2014, “but it has, hasn’t it? I thought it would last for the war period, then I’d just be another singer. Of course I’ve never minded that everybody always connects me with that time. It was so important.”

For decades, she was a beloved figure at celebrations to mark the anniversaries of the June 6, 1944, D-Day landings in France or VE Day, the end of the war in Europe on May 8, 1945.

Her last public performance came in 2005, at the 60th anniversary celebrations for VE Day in Trafalgar Square. She performed a snatch of We’ll Meet Again, and told the crowd: “These boys gave their lives and some came home badly injured and for some families life would never be the same. We should always remember, we should never forget and we should teach the children to remember.”

She was awarded an OBE in 1969, and made a dame in 1975, for her charity work. She has given her name to her own breast cancer and child cerebral palsy charities, and has also worked with charities for military servicepeople, including Forces Literary Organisation Worldwide (Flow)

In 2009, at the age of 92, she became the oldest living artist to make it to No 1 on the British album charts, with a greatest hits compilation outselling the Arctic Monkeys.

During the build-up to her 100th birthday in 2017, Dame Vera said she found it "humbling" that people still enjoyed her songs.

The Queen wrote to her: "You cheered and uplifted us all in the war and after the war, and I am sure that this evening the blue birds of Dover will be flying over to wish you a happy anniversary."

Her songs spoke to people caught up in war, trying to respond to its emotional extremes as best they could. They encapsulate fellowship and battling through, not jingoism, for all the flag-waving that accompanied her appearances at commemorative events. “We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when.” The lyrics could not be more banal, yet her genuine spirit invested them with deep humanity. As HM Queen Elizabeth II herself understood, what keeps us going in times of war and pandemic is the thought that we will be reunited with our loved ones, when the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.

RIP Dame Vera Lynn

We’ll meet again....

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s R&S - Youthhood (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (少年时代) was part of the Dream Heart Lake event which will unlikely come to EN🍒

Cancelled Kiro’s R&S:

> top experimental subject (by another user)

> stunning young idol

> youthhood ♡

> heaven’s home for children (by another user)

[ Chapter 1]

Kiro sits on the highest flight of steps of TKTS. With the scorching sun directly overhead, he’s queuing to purchase discounted tickets to “Wicked” with Pei En.

TKTS, which sells discounted tickets, is located in the bustling Times Square in New York, USA. Behind it is the NASDAQ screen, and on both sides are shops selling Disney products and all sorts of fast fashion brands. The buildings in front and in the surroundings have gigantic, neat and pretty advertisements.

Among them, a gigantic “The Avengers” poster above the subway is the most attention grabbing.

This is a representation of the era. It’s a symbol of the 20th century, and is also similar to the cyberpunk world of “Blade Runner”.

“I’ve got the tickets!”

Pei En waves the two tickets to “Wicked” in his hand. Pei En is the guitarist in his band. Kiro’s agency formed a band for him, and most of the band members are French locals. Only Pei En is of mixed blood like Kiro - a child from a Jew and an Asian.

“If the performance had gone smoothly, we would have reached earlier!”

They have a final performance in New York as part of their tour, and would have to leave after, rushing to Los Angeles, California.

“This time, I’m going to hide the donuts in an even more secret location so the person who inspects the tickets wouldn’t discover them!”

While Kiro says this, he finishes the donut in his hand.

Donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts are very sticky. Only Kiro can treat such things as delicacies.

His ringtone sounds. With a glance at the number on the screen, he hangs up immediately. Pei En is very curious to know who the caller is. He has expressed curiosity regarding everything involving Kiro, and Kiro knows why.

“Is it that fellow Lawrence again?” Pei En asks. Lawrence is the agent of their band.

“Nope, but it’s definitely a harassment call.”

“It should be.”

Pei En seems to be a carbon copy of Kiro. Aside from his hair not being golden coloured, he is extremely similar to Kiro in terms of bubbliness and openness, and how simple-minded he is. 

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

After purchasing the tickets, both of them return to the agency. Lawrence is at the side, looking through the program booklet for their performance tonight. Lawrence is overwhelmingly ambitious. He won’t give up until he bags a Grammy Award for the band.

“Did you know? Another group of strange people came to look for you again.”

The moment Lawrence sees Kiro, he pulls the latter to a corner. Pei En curiously watches on.

“What kind of people did you provoke? They look like they shouldn’t be trifled with.”

Kiro shakes his head. “What do you mean by ‘they’? Fans?”

When Lawrence sees the innocent and harmless expression on Kiro’s face again, he knows that his questions wouldn’t get him anywhere. Kiro always manages to find ways to conceal himself.

“How’s the preparation for the concert? You’re the lead singer, and all the girls are flocking here for you!”

“I’ll definitely perform even better than usual!”

Kiro looks to be full of zest and in high spirits. He genuinely loves being on stage, and loves how he radiates brilliance. Who doesn’t like seeing fans go into a frenzy over them and be captivated by them? It enables Kiro to fully feel that he is still living on this earth. And that on this earth, there are still so many people who like him...

“I’m guessing you went to buy a souvenir again today.”

Lawrence comes to such a conclusion after glancing at Kiro’s bag. Kiro has a hobby - to buy some souvenirs wherever he goes, whenever convenient.

From Paris to Munich, Zurich to Stockholm, Vancouver to Montreal - wherever he goes on tour, he would buy local fridge magnets and postcards, and he would always buy two sets.

He wants to collect these things, so if a day comes when he can meet her again, he would show them to her, and say:

“Look! This world is so beautiful, and you no longer have to be afraid.”

But till now, he has yet to find her. He remembers her eyes. One day, he will find her in a vast sea of people. 

“Did you know that the agency from China has sent someone to negotiate with us? They want you to sign on with them, and the amount they’re giving you is basically--”

Lawrence’s tone is exaggerated. “How are people in China so wealthy!”

“What if I said that I wanted to go to China?”

“Hey, buddy, the band can’t do without you.”

“Haha, Pei En is much more outstanding than I am.”

At this point, Pei En is still watching them. Kiro understands him too well. He’s much too curious. Also, he’s only curious about Kiro, which could very quickly expose Kiro’s hidden identity.

Did that group of people actually send Pei En to monitor him...

He kind of underestimates Pei En though.

“But that fellow is always so absent-minded. God knows what he’s thinking about.”

-

[ Chapter Three ]

Americans enjoy overstating things. At one moment, they go “only God knows...”, and at another moment, they go “for the sake of God...”. Some people can’t stand it, but Kiro finds it very interesting.

Very quickly, Kiro begins rehearsing with the band. His style of singing changes a lot. When they were in Europe, they mostly played rock music. When they reached America, they started playing country or jazz music.

Kiro likes the southern accent of the keyboardist from California. But Lawrence prohibits it. “The southern accent is the most crude and coarse form of English! Why can’t you learn the way the British speak?”

Lawrence has always favoured people who can speak eloquent British English - to him, only such people are refined and elegant. But Kiro grew up in France. When he first started learning English, he tended to pronounce “ch” as “sh”. Actually, French is genuinely elegant and pleasant to listen to. And English tinged with a slight French accent can make one absorbed in it.

-

The concert ended smoothly.

The fans are cheering in a frenzy outside, wanting them to perform one more song. But the agent has already told them to leave.

Pei En and Kiro take a car and rush to the theatre to watch “Wicked”. This is the final Broadway show they want to watch, and it was a shame that Kiro didn't get to watch the well-known Hamilton.

At the entrance, that group of fellows stopped him again. 

The person standing at the forefront is a Caucasian woman. She walks up to Kiro elegantly and greets him, signalling for the person next to her to bring Pei En away.

“I’ve already given you a response through e-mail, and I hope you won’t disturb me again.”

The Caucasian woman proceeds as usual, showing him an FBI ID.

Kiro grumbles in his heart.

“I swear I won’t disclose the contents of ‘The Avengers’. Even though I’ve already watched it on my laptop, I’ll definitely watch it again in the cinema!”

The Caucasian woman laughs.

“Mr Kiro, you’re very humorous. Even though we know that apart from Disney, you’ve also hacked into Universal Studios and Paramount Pictures, we’re not here to talk about this.”

She continues: “KEY - that’s you, isn’t it?”

-

[ Chapter 4 ]

Kiro doesn’t respond, his eyes widening as he glances around. 

“In order to track down your IP address, we had to destroy four computers.”

“Are you looking for me to make compensation for the computers?”

“Mr Kiro. Ten years ago, you expended no effort to hack into our computers, and left behind a string of mysterious characters.”

The Caucasian woman smiles at him amiably. Kiro’s expression grows serious. Ten years ago, that KEY who hacked into their organisation wasn’t him...

“Ten years later, you’re back again. I think you're trying to provoke us.”

“I don’t have such an intention.”

“Whether or not you do, we can’t let you continue this way. Mr Kiro, this is a serious issue. We are now sending you a sincere invitation, and we hope to work together to do more noble things.”

Kiro is silent. He had previously found a clue leading to his own master. Finding out that he had entered the American FBI website and left behind a series of symbols - he thinks this is message to him from his master. As such, he entered it as well, and found that series of symbols, but until now hasn’t been able to decipher it.

It’s a series of very strange symbols, reminiscent of a new language formed using Latin and Roman symbols. He managed to decipher it a little, and it appears that the series of symbols seem to be pointing him to a location.

And the FBI had found him quickly, sending him an e-mail. It was a solemn reminder that if he was unwilling to be enlisted by them, he would lose his rights to use a computer forever.

“You’ve stated these things clearly in the e-mail, and I’ve already replied.”

“I don't think you have considered the severity of this matter. Mr Kiro, we can detain you.”

"In that case, I’ll just sing in jail then!”

Seeing the displeased look on the Caucasian woman’s face, Kiro continues smiling simple-mindedly.

“I hope you wouldn’t regret this in the future.” The Caucasian woman leaves a final statement that is often found in a script for a classic villain. She leaves with the large group of people. 

Pei En walks over frantically, and Kiro walks towards him as well.

“Tell them that I’ve met with some trouble, and will need to leave America immediately.”

Pei En pretends to be puzzled.

“You understand the meaning in my words, don’t you?”

For the first time, Kiro looks at him seriously. During serious moments, he doesn’t smile. 

“Where do you plan to go? We can send you to Russia.”

Pei En is no longer smiling. His expression changes, along with his entire aura.

As expected, Pei En is much too similar to him. If Kiro were to leave the band, Pei En could take over his position as the lead singer, and that group of people had considered this fact too.

-

[ Chapter 5 ]

The face of the little girl surfaces in Kiro’s mind again. 

The girl is lying with him, and is all smiles as she looks at him.

“Don’t be afraid. When I’m out, I’ll buy you donuts, okay?”

The girl draws the shape of a donut in the air.

Back then, Kiro didn’t speak. He just stared at the ceiling in a dazed state.

“Don’t worry that I won’t have enough money. My dad will give it to me.”

Kiro remains wordless, quietly listening to the little girl speak.

The little girl struggles to pull on his hand.

Their fingers lace together, the warmth from her palm gradually coursing into Kiro’s heart.

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.”

Kiro turns to look at her - to look at her determined brown eyes, to look at how the corners of her lips angle upwards. Kiro slowly learns how to curl the corners of his lips from her. It’s the first smile to appear on his face. 

Suddenly, the door is flung open. A group of people wearing doctor’s coats enter and drag him away. The little girl watches him in a daze, and he stares back at her. They agreed to go out to have donuts - can they still eat them?

-

“I want to return to China.”

Pei En shakes his head, alarm in his eyes. “Why? There’s so much freedom here, and I’m the only one who monitors you. And I’m inclined to trust you more now. You won’t betray us.”

“No... I still want to go back.”

Not just for the little girl. The symbols left behind by his master seem to point to a certain location in China... Where exactly is it? And why did he leave the symbols with the FBI? Could it be the place he’s hiding at right now?

No matter what, he wants to solve this riddle.

“All right. I’ll handle it for you as soon as I can. I think you’d have to use a false identity this time.”

“As long as everything goes smoothly, it’s fine.”

“Don’t worry, there’s nothing they can’t do.”

He wants to wait till he returns to China before telling Lawrence about what happened. Lawrence will definitely be extremely frantic. After all, he’s been following Kiro ever since he debuted in France.

And Pei En will definitely be happy. He can finally take over Kiro and become the favourite member of the group, and obtain love from the fans.

Kiro is someone who doesn’t lack love. But he always subconsciously wishes that he could obtain even more love. More and more...

-

[ Chapter 6 ]

Before Kiro retuned, Pei En gave him materials pertaining to the agency in China.

“Your agent is called Savin. He doesn’t seem as eager for instant success and quick profits as Lawrence. Mr Savin is a very amiable person, and you should be very happy interacting with him.”

“Is he one of your people?”

“I don’t know.”

“You really don’t know?”

Pei En shakes his head. “I rank too low, so I don’t have the right to ask. I’m just an elementary spy.”

Kiro nods, taking his luggage and preparing to leave. He’ll set things straight eventually.

“Kiro, I don’t think you’re transparent. They say that what’s in your heart is easy to guess, which is why they put me by your side. But I think they have underestimated you.”

Kiro looks at Pei En’s troubled eyes, then showcases his signature sunny smile.

“How can that be? Do you want a postcard? When I get to China, I’ll mail you one. I also want to mail them to Lawrence and the members from the band. Treat it as an apology.”

Like Kiro, Pei En showcases a sunny smile. “In that case, we’ll wait for your news. You’ll definitely be at the height of popularity in China.”

“Let’s work hard together.”

“Yes!”

After parting with Pei En, who has been with together with him from morning to night for so long, Kiro lifts his luggage and embarks on an unknown journey. 

As what Pei En said, he isn’t transparent. His brilliant smile conceals something underneath, just as the brilliant sun shrouds darkness underneath.

Hidden in the depths of his secrets are things even darkness doesn’t know of. If darkness had a mind of its own, it might think it doesn’t fit with this pure and simple youth.

Just as how everyone think he’s a simple, innocent Kiro, the sunlight casted on him can pierce through him completely, the rays of light refracting onto the floor. 

Actually, since a very long time ago, he was no longer a youth...

But, for her sake, he's willing to become a youth again.

“Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you.”

He once again recalls what the girl said to him.

“This time, I’ll be the one protecting you.” Kiro says excitedly. He stands outside the JFK Airport, his eyes staring directly at the sun.

“I’ll find you, and protect you. I even have a mountain of souvenirs stored in my luggage. I’ll give them all to you. And my purest heart - I’ll give it to you too!”

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

[aion-rsa]

Lance Henriksen on His Career: ‘Every Job I’ve Ever Gotten Was a Gift’

https://ift.tt/39QbXna

Lance Henriksen has been one of the screen’s most distinctive character actors and overall badasses for going on 50 years. A genuine working actor who always seems to be showing up in a film or TV show, the New York-born Henriksen’s early film career featured small roles in some of the most iconic films of the 1970s, including Dog Day Afternoon, Network and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Even though his long and varied run on the big and small screen was just getting underway, he managed to work with directors like Sidney Lumet and Steven Spielberg.

He also didn’t have a clue at the time that those films would endure decades later as classics of their era.

“I had no idea,” he says while speaking to us on the phone about his latest film, Falling. “I was just grateful to have a job and do my best and try. It was a gift. Every job I’ve ever gotten, I feel it was a gift. I don’t make any bones about that. It’s just a lot of luck.”

Now at the age of 80, Henriksen is a statesman of cinema in Falling, Viggo Mortensen’s directorial debut. However, the older actor wasn’t always sure luck was going to come his come his way. His father was a merchant sailor who was away at sea most of the time. His mother, who worked as a dance instructor, a model, and a waitress, divorced Henriksen’s father when her son was just two and struggled to raise both Lance and his brother on her own. Stints in foster care and abuse at the hands of other family members followed, with Henriksen out of school after first grade and out of his home for good at 12. He didn’t learn to read until he was nearly 30 years old.

It was around that time that he began working in theater, first in set design and then eventually on the sets themselves as an actor. His first film appearance came in 1972, in the long-forgotten It Ain’t Easy for director (and future Star Trek: The Next Generation producer/writer) Maurice Hurley. Three years later, he was an FBI agent in Lumet’s Dog Day Afternoon, which got him a call from Spielberg, the red-hot young director of Jaws who was then prepping his alien contact epic, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

In that film, Henriksen played one of the many scientists and technicians on hand for the arrival of the alien mothership and its crew.

“[Spielberg] was getting ready to shoot the mothership leaving, with all the little creatures and all the astronauts going up onto the machine,” the actor recalls now. “And I ran over and said, ‘Hey, listen, Steven, I’ve got an idea. What if I take my coat, throw it over one of these little creatures, and run into the Porta-Potties with it, so we’ve got proof, because this thing’s going to take off and disappear.’ And he looked at me and goes, ‘Lance, listen to me, that’s a different movie.’”

Following that mid-1970s run, which also included the 1978 horror sequel, Damien: Omen II, and the truly bonkers sci-fi cult film The Visitor, with John Huston and Glenn Ford, Henriksen wouldn’t see his next big break until 1982. That’s when a first-time director named James Cameron cast him in Piranha 2: The Spawning, which Cameron was shooting for exploitation producer Ovidio G. Assonitis.

“I like Jim,” says Henriksen of the man who would later go on to make game-changing, record-breaking blockbusters like Titanic and Avatar. “I met him on Piranha 2. Neither one of us liked that movie, but we did it. We had to do that movie. We weren’t supported very much by the producers…And then when the movie was done, we all went home and I remember they fired Jim the last day of shooting so that they could edit and control the movie.”

According to Henriksen, the producers of Piranha 2 took the film out of Cameron’s hands and presented their own edit to distributor Columbia Pictures, which rejected it.

Says Henriksen, “Jim took the same footage that they showed Columbia. He re-edited it and brought it back to [the studio]. And that’s the cut that released. It’s a great story. I hope it’s true.”

Cameron cast Henriksen in his next two movies, both of which turned into sci-fi/action classics: 1984’s The Terminator and 1986’s Aliens. It was in the latter film that Henriksen created the first of several iconic performances by playing the enigmatic and ultimately heroic android Bishop. Other 1980s standouts for Henriksen included Prince of the City, The Right Stuff, and Jagged Edge, while the latter half of that decade yielded lead roles in two horror cult classics, Pumpkinhead and Near Dark.

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Although Henriksen continued to work steadily in movies throughout the 1990s, 2000s and 2010s, it was a TV show that yielded perhaps his most famous character after Bishop: ex-FBI profiler and serial killer hunter Frank Black in creator Chris Carter’s nightmarish thriller series Millennium. The series was Carter’s follow-up to The X-Files and it ran for three seasons and 67 episodes on Fox from 1996 to 1999.

“I think the thing that I admired the most was when I was offered the role, I didn’t right away know it was television,” says Henriksen, who also admits that the show’s oppressive nature and the tormented psyche of his character wore on him during its three-year run. “I got to a restaurant with Chris Carter and the director. I said, ‘Let me ask you something. This is so dark. A lot of serial killers. A lot of bad people. Where’s the light going to come from?’ And all Chris Carter said to me was, ‘The yellow house.’ And then I got it right away. It was about [Black’s] family and I agreed to do it.”

Henriksen adds, “Occasionally it sucked me in,” referring to Millennium’s relentlessly grim atmosphere. “But it was a tough show. It wasn’t an easy one. It was also kind of a groundbreaker at the time, I think.” Henriksen has been quoted as saying that it took him “a year” to get out of the head of Frank Black after the show was cancelled, and has often noted that he finds it difficult to detach himself from a character after the project has finished shooting.

When it came to Falling, Henriksen says he was actually leery at first of playing Willis Peterson, the conservative and homophobic father of a middle-aged gay man named John (Mortensen, who also wrote and scored the movie). Nearing the end of his life, perpetually angry and having pushed two wives and his children away from him, Willis is perhaps the most complex role of Henriksen’s career but one which he says was exhausting to play.

“I have to tell you the minute we were wrapped and we finished the movie, I said, ‘Viggo, I’m going to disappear for a while. I got to get myself back,’” Henriksen explains. “I was a little afraid to do it. I got so deep into some of it that I got a little afraid that I’m going to get a form of Alzheimer’s of some kind–I won’t be able to shake it. But I was able to shake it. But anyway, it was intense. It really was, the stakes were very high. And we had a short time to do it. We shot it in five weeks.”

Henriksen’s relationship with Mortensen–best known to genre fans as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings–stretches back to the 2008 Western Appaloosa, in which both men starred alongside Ed Harris. “We both love Westerns and we all enjoyed it,” says Henriksen of his first collaboration with Mortensen. “All three of us: Ed loves Westerns. He knows how to ride, he knows how to do it. It was nice to meet Viggo. He’s as good a guy as I’ve ever met. I liked him right away, really good guy.”

Nevertheless, Henriksen–a graduate of the Actors Studio and a practitioner of method acting–still wasn’t sure he wanted to play Willis when Mortensen sent him the Falling script. “It scared me,” he admits. “He said, ‘Would you do it?’ I said, ‘Sure, I’m scared, but I’ll do it.’ And then we lost the original backing and it took two years to finally get new backing, and he said, ‘You still want to do it?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And he goes, ‘That didn’t sound very enthusiastic, Lance.’ I said to him, ‘The truth is, I’m going to have to visit some real dark places from my youth, my childhood, all of that, and I’m nervous.’”

In Falling, John brings Willis home to Los Angeles with him to stay with his family, including husband Eric (Terry Chen) and their adopted daughter Monica (Gabby Velis) while they look for a new home for Willis closer to John and his sister Sarah (Laura Linney). But Willis is resolutely against leaving his rural farm in heartland America, determined to stick to his sheltered lifestyle even as the onset of dementia begins to blur the past and the present in his mind.

Despite his anxiety about delving into Willis’ tortured, embittered psyche, Henriksen now imparts that participating in the film became an instant highlight of his career. “It was the best experience I’ve ever had as an actor,” he says. “The support to do it and [Mortensen’s] appreciation level and all of those things were everything that I hoped for… I have nothing but gratitude. This is maybe the best role I’ve gotten in my lifetime. I really think that.”

Those are strong words coming from an actor who has appeared in many of the definitive films of the last five decades, but Falling may well feature some of the most emotionally raw work he’s done during his lifetime in the business. “I’m grateful to be an actor,” Lance Henriksen says with sincerity. “I’m an apprentice to every new subject. It’s been my education. I’m a lucky guy, I really am.”

Falling is out in theaters, on digital, and on demand now.

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from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3trcmEt

[mimeowheel]

Runaway Bride by Garry Marshall (1999)

4/5

Marshall’s second outing with the Julia Roberts / Richard Gere romantic duo, nine years after their smash Pretty Woman, captures the same effervescent chemistry between them. It feels like a reunion, and Marshall’s lack of much cinematic sense or style is almost made up for with the celebratory feeling of friendship, love and laughter that each frame is chocked full of. However much Marshall knew about movies, he did know about loyalty: written into the contract of every movie he ever directed was a role for his friend Hector Elizondo, whom he met playing basketball, and that’s the spirit of this movie, which is a light hearted examination of pursuing dreams and committing to love. We are grateful for the critique of any marriage out of convenience, even if it is with the one you love and the simple lesson that before they can have any relationship, he has to find his artistic voice, no matter how successful he is, and she has to put her work out, no matter how scared she is. 

It reminds me of, say, social realism. In America, and this is exported all over the globe, there is a capitalist narrativism. It comes with a particular story structure and a hatful of lessons you may teach. Anything beyond that is not censored, it is, rather, not funded. And in a world where money is meaning, we do not watch that which was not funded, in both production and, even more so, marketing. 

Marshall’s movie is capitalist narrativism with genuine warmth and sincere love but ultimately it does not escape that realm, and like Virgil, it is not a movie I imagine will make it past a certain ring of purgatory when it comes to the march of history. All that admitted I will study and soak up the wonder that is young Julia - her performances are irresistible and endlessly watchable. 

A last note about Capitalist Narrativism:  -It must have a story.

-It must be formally uninteresting (”don’t get in the way of the story”). 

-Neither it nor its characters can imagine an alternative to the world as it is (Global Capitalism led by America is proposed as a given and eternal format rather than a historical peculiarity or transition moment not even a century old.)

This of course does not cover the entirety of American or Hollywood output. These forms work in tandem with the sophistic directors who wear the costume of trailblazer, deal in gimmicks, win academy awards and use every chance they get to discuss their artistic integrity and express support for the Clintons of the world. 

I appreciate Marshall at least for not being one of these, he keeps it simple, fast paced, funny, endearing and occasionally insightful. To be very frank I tottered between a 3 and a 4 here -- for all I say, this was my third time watching it and likely won’t be my last. 

A final thought: There’s a beautiful scene of confrontation between Ike and Maggie (candy coloured bulbs of light out of focus in the background, flower crowns and Hawaiian shirts). In it they each call each other the most lost person they’ve ever met. After all past attempts at love and commitment for both of them, it is the most lost person they met, who is the one they truly love. It is the one who can see they are lost and call them on it. Loving someone doesn’t scramble coordinates but rather reveals to them their coordinates were scrambled. We do not lose ourselves in love but discover that we were always lost. It draws a circle around the zero inside. It introduces us to the stranger that is ourselves. 

“You want a man who’ll lead you down the beach, with his hand over your eyes, just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. You want a guy that’ll wake you up at dawn, just bursting to talk to you. Can’t wait another minute. Just to find out what you’ll say.”

Ultimately I appreciate it as a twist on the romantic comedy because though it follows the format of the meet, the fall, the obstacles and the overcoming, ending on a happily ever after. The questions the characters are asking of themselves and each other, and the conversations they’re having are rather about commitment and what sets Ike apart from Maggie’s other suitors is that he is not just a happily ever after, for it is exactly the dark room on the other end of that door which she is haunted by and which he invites her to step into: her own life.  

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Hanayamata, Episodes 10-12

In which last session’s mistakes are rectified and the show goes out on top once more.

REDEMPTION

Not gonna lie, I was pretty nervous going into these final three episodes. After the worrying stumbles this show ran into last time, I was worried it might completely lose touch with the heart and soul that made me love it in the first place. Well, breathe easy, folks; Hanayamata’s final stretch pulls itself back together and ends this show in triumph. Here again is the gorgeous, deeply lovable anime that took my breath away back in episode 1. And shock of all shocks, it soars precisely by excelling at the exact practice I just criticized it for failing at: nuanced emotional conflicts. Turns out, this show can do its characters and their struggles justice without sacrificing its sense of heightened melodrama. All it takes the willingness to step back and let the conflicts speak for themselves instead of battering you over the head with them. The tension between Machi and the rest of the girls in the hot springs is genuine because of how much isn’t said, how the surface animosity is only one level upon which their emotions are conflicting. You don’t need the characters screaming at each other to understand the depths of uncertainty and self-doubt plaguing Machi; all you need is a few curt words and her lonely practice, pushing herself so she doesn’t fall behind them and drag them down with her. And that only makes it all the sweeter when her friend pull her back into their fold and practice so fervently they draw an adoring audience from the rest of the ryokan’s guests. That, folks, was the moment this show officially won me back; it’s sincere and heartstring-tugging in exactly the way I was missing from the past few episodes.

Where the Heart Lies

But it’s the series-ending arc, with Hana’s mother bringing her back to America, that truly makes this finale great. Because here, at last, is a conflict based solely around what this show does best: love and mutual care. Hana’s family situation isn’t tragic or flawed like Machi or Tami, and it’s not falling apart like Yaya’s band. Even though her parents are divorced, they still genuinely love each other, and she still genuinely loves them. Hana’s mom isn’t perfect, but there’s never any doubt that she is there for her daughter. She might be bad at making lunches and dinners as a result of her work keeping her out of family life for so long, but she’s doing her best, god dammit. She’s making an effort now to be the mother she couldn’t be before, and it’s working! Hana’s parents getting back together is a good thing! They’re all here to support each other no matter what! But the love this family shares is exactly the reason why Hana’s being pulled back across the seas and away from the new friends she’s made. She’s stuck between her love for her parents and her love for Naru, her love for her family and her love for yosakoi, and these are all important in her life. No matter what she chooses, she has to give up something huge. And she feels so indebted to her parents love that she can’t even bring up the subject with them until it’s too late, a miscommunication born out of actual character and motivations instead of cheap contrivance. That’s not just good, that’s a genuinely great emotional conflict that’s able to wring genuine pathos out of people being nice to each other.

And the show has the balls to let it play out undisturbed. Hana actually goes back to America! The girls actually have to deal with the process of moving on once she’s gone! Sure, there was no way she wasn’t going to make a last-minute return and join in the big ending performance right when it seemed like there was no way she would ever make it, but unlike so many others shows that pull similar stunts, Hanayamata actually forces its characters to deal with that separation. It lets them accept the fact that their friend might not be coming back, and it lets them work to find a path forward without her. It shows them coming together in Hana’s absence, still struggling to fill the void she left but carrying on her spirit and resolving to do her proud by trying their hardest every step of the way. This show could’ve just lingered in despair for maximum feels, secure in the knowledge that its star player was coming back; instead, it treated the situation as if Hana really was gone for good, letting the other girls bid her goodbye and move on to fulfill her dream regardless. Even if she never came back, you get the sense that the four remaining girls would’ve killed that final performance all the same. So when she shows up regardless, charging the stage as the costumes up and jumping in right in the middle of the performance in the most appropriately cheesy way possible, it’s just the perfect cherry on top of an already deeply satisfying sundae. It earns your investment, and it rewards you with the best finale possible only once it proves it could’ve still succeeded just fine without it. And the gorgeous production values kicking into high gear for the dance make for one hell of a fireworks display to bring it all home.

Flowers Bloom

Looking back, it really is incredible how much difference good writing has on my experience of a show. Compared to how sluggish my attention span felt in the last chunk of episodes, this finale sucked me right back in and left me with a big goddamn smile on my face. Hana’s friends offering to help her was wholesome. Hana tearfully spilling the beans to Naru when visiting her house at night was wonderful. Naru sharing her grief and promising Hana she would be there for her no matter what was a shotgun blast of feels right to my heart. And my god, they even ended up taking a bath together and spending the night chatting under the covers, as if my shipper heart wasn’t full enough already. God, these two are wonderful together, and it’s been great watching them inspire each other to reach even greater heights. Yaya got it right: Naru really is shining now, just as she always wanted. Not by running away from this world, but by gaining the courage to live in it by the side of the people she loves. That’s the beating heart of this show, and I’m so glad the finale let it burst into full bloom once more.

Odds and Ends

-”What’s wrong with natto?” Everything.

-”Don’t use your sale pitch on my friends! This is why mom got fed up with you!” askjdhasdk HOLY SHIT HANA

-Fuck you, Sally. That is all.

-Man, I miss ryokans. I need to visit Japan again once this whole madness dies down.

-”How are you bad at English?!” “The questions were in Japanese!” kdjhskjdfhskdf

-GOD DON’T REMIND ME OF THAT FIRST DANCE SCENE YOU’RE GONNA RIP MY HEART OUT

-”You’ve been expanding your world, and I had no idea.” BEST DAD BEST DAD

-”Call me if you need anything, Little Sis!” Masaru remains the best and his absence in the show’s back half is a crime.

-”You don’t need to narrate everything.” GOD DAMMIT I LOVE HIM

-”Stage left... stage right...” lol, there’s a mood.

-”Did I say something embarrassing again?!” I love this running joke so much

-”Who’s going to listen to a child’s selfishness if not her parents?” BEST. MOM.

Aaaaaaah, thank god this one finished strong. Expect my series reflection later tonight, as well as what show will take its place!

[dillydedalus]

september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have  horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5 

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps!  his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story  “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might  read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now. 

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

[letterboxd]

Fantasia 2020.

We emerge from the depths of Fantasia Festival 2020—the largest genre fest in North America—with the ten best things we saw this year.

Fantasia Festival aced this weird shitstorm of a year with one of the best online film festival experiences of 2020 so far. Sure, we miss that unique, zombie-like, end-of-fest haze brought on by midnight madness and inappropriate mealtimes, but quarantine breeds an adjacent kind of mental fog that made Fantasia’s online offering a weirdly natural place to be this year.

Tuning into Montreal from London and Auckland, our Fantasia team (Kambole Campbell, Aaron Yap and Gemma Gracewood) watched as widely as possible, and we recommend most of what we saw—but these are the ten films that stuck out.

Chasing Dream Directed by Johnnie To, written by Wai Ka-Fai, Ryder Chan and Mak Tin-Shu

Hong Kong master of genre Johnnie To once again links up with screenwriter Wai Ka Fai, the writer of Drug War and Romancing in Thin Air. Their new feature Chasing Dream finds itself somewhere between those two, telling the story of an MMA fighter with gang ties named Tiger (Jacky Heung, winner of Fantasia’s Best Actor award) who falls in love with an aspiring singer named Cuckoo (Keru Wang).

To and Wai Ka Fai’s incredibly goofy sense of humor is still totally intact, as they make a complete farce out of the singing competition that Cuckoo enters, with her greatest competitor continually performing so hard that she accumulates injuries, until she ends up in a full-body cast. As Michelle writes: “It’s Rocky meets A Star is Born, with a dash of American Idol, a pinch of musical, and a huge dollop of romance.” This is all to say that Chasing Dream really is a hell of a lot of movie at once. (KC)

Labyrinth of Cinema Directed by Nobuhiko Ōbayashi, written by Kazuya Konaka, Nobu Obayashi and Tadashi Naitō

“It’s time to revisit our history to build a better future.” So begins Labyrinth of Cinema, the final film of Japanese experimental legend Nobuhiko Ōbayashi. Following a trilogy of films contemplating modern Japanese history and war (including the ravishing Hanagatami), Labyrinth is a metatextual and metaphysical trip through the history of Japanese cinema and its intersection with war.

A handful of young characters are quite literally absorbed into the screen of the cinema they’re sitting in at the film’s beginning, jumping through different eras and genres of film, tackling everything from war and propaganda, romance and musical, to chanbara and back again. Jake Cole notes the film’s surprising optimism, writing “even as Ōbayashi grows more sober, the film conveys more and more his strength of belief that cinema is still a force for good, and that if the past cannot be helped, perhaps movies can be rethought and re-crafted to produce a better future”. (KC)

Lapsis Written and directed by Noah Hutton

Noah Hutton (son of Timothy Hutton and Debra Winger) makes his narrative feature debut with a sci-fi-that’s-barely-sci-fi film, which dives into robotics, capitalism and unionization. Not a million miles away from the activist documentaries the director already has under his belt, Lapsis is a low-key, mordant film that captures gig-economy drudgery and the arcane fog of big tech. “Honestly really fucking cool,” writes David, of Hutton’s world-building on a shoestring. “An intelligent and peculiar concept expertly executed and thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end.” Dean Imperial’s surliness is a treat. (AY)

Bleed with Me Written and directed by Amelia Moses

Not one of Bleed with Me’s 79 minutes is wasted. If any of the following sound good to you—micro-thrillers, Robert Altman's Images, Rodney Ascher’s The Nightmare, mumblecore Bergman—add Amelia Moses’ debut feature to your watchlist now. It’s an assured start from Moses, who crafts an unsettling, tantalizingly ambiguous atmosphere from the three-hander, cabin-in-the-snow confines, with Scrabble, gaslighting, bloodletting and sleep paralysis thrown in.

“Lee Marshall anchors the film with a deeply moving performance as Rowan,” writes Finhorror. “With every facial expression, movement, and line reading, she sells vulnerability and discomfort while showing a minimal amount of effort.” Would pair well with Mickey Reece’s Climate of the Hunter (florid dinner conversations, immaculate food-porn and psycho-sexual tension) for an ace double feature. (AY)

PVT CHAT Written and directed by Ben Hozie

New York filmmaker Ben Hozie examines online relationships and modern sexual fantasies with PVT CHAT, starring Uncut Gems breakout star Julia Fox as Scarlet, a cam-girl dominatrix. The film splits its focus between Scarlet and Jack (played by Peter Vack), an internet gambler who mostly remains inside his NYC apartment as he becomes fixated on her. While there’s palpable discomfort in Jack’s increasing obsession with Scarlet, the film doesn’t mock the practitioner nor the customer, and it doesn’t moralize over either of their actions—it simply leaves them plain to witness, as though a normal element of contemporary digital living.

The genuineness of the relationship between Scarlet and Jack is ambiguous—the line between performance and sincere emotion distorted via pixels. As they continue to open up to each other the line blurs further, and PVT CHAT becomes a fascinating observation of how online communication has changed and commodified the ways in which we interact with each other. (KC)

Tezuka’s Barbara Directed by Makoto Tezuka, screenplay by Hisako Kurasawa

Speaking of obsessions, Japanese filmmaker Makoto Tezuka might have chosen his father’s strangest work to adapt into a live-action film. As it says in the title, Tezuka’s Barbara is an adaptation of ‘godfather of manga’ Osamu Tezuka’s Barbara, his most hallucinatory and sexually explicit work. Opening with a Nietzsche quote about madness and love, Tezuka’s Barbara more or less conflates the two, as the main character Yosuke, an author who specializes in lurid and trashy paperbacks, falls obsessively in love with Barbara, a homeless drifter he meets in the street.

Beautifully lensed by Christopher Doyle, legendary cinematographer of Chungking Express and In The Mood For Love, Tezuka’s Barbara takes on a magical and ethereal quality, particularly in its sex scenes. Yosuke’s increasingly deranged obsession with Barbara and the young Tezuka’s depiction of it is compellingly weird, from its vivid colors and almost antiquated costuming to its Eyes Wide Shut-esque rituals of the wealthy. Deranged, perhaps opaque, but a riveting visual journey, especially with its context in mind. (KC)

Special Actors Written and directed by Shinichiro Ueda

Special Actors is the new film from Shinichiro Ueda, who turned heads with his bonkers cult film One Cut of the Dead. It may appear a little less surprising to those already familiar with his tactics, but it’s no less entertaining for it. Special Actors starts one way, as the tale of an aspiring actor looking for work, and ends somewhere else entirely. Brought into a company named ‘Special Actors’ by his estranged younger brother, Kazuko embarks on a different kind of performer’s journey, not just restricted to film and commercials, but also playing implanted mourners at funerals, fake boyfriends—whatever the client desires.

This is an Ueda film, so of course it takes a huge swerve, transforming into a bizarre and entertaining caper as the Special Actors are hired to infiltrate a cult. Ueda is more than aware of the classic conflation of film with “fakery” (as Orson Welles would call it)—the structure of a caper and its layers of illusion, truth and everything in between aligning with the requirements of stagecraft—and he has more than a little fun with it. As a result, so do we. (KC)

Feels Good Man Directed by Arthur Jones / Available on demand now

The internet was a mistake. Even if you try to stay out of the digital trash-fires, you’ll likely have heard of the ‘Pepe the Frog’ meme. Turns out, we need to pay attention to these things, particularly with another US election looming. In Feels Good Man, Arthur Jones introduces us to Matt Furie, the humble cartoonist behind the original Pepe, and then takes several wild and weird side-roads, with the most unexpected-but-entertaining talking heads, as we learn just how 4Chan and the alt-right adopted, weaponized and took the frog all the way to the White House, earning official hate-symbol status. “I came in expecting a solid documentary about a meme, and I ended up getting that and a compelling narrative about today’s troubling world,” writes Zach. (GG)

Sheep Without a Shepherd Directed by Sam Quah, written by Yang Weiwei

Dare we say “Letterboxd meets Parasite”? Sheep Without a Shepherd, Sam Quah’s debut feature (based on Jeethu Joseph’s highly rated film Drishyam), is a cinephiliac feast about have-nots taking on upper-echelon corruption. Lead character Weijie (Xiao Yang) is a working-class, obsessive cinephile who vomits his movie knowledge any chance he can get. When his family is pulled into a case of police corruption, this same cinephilia may be the only thing that gets them out of it. It’s a sturdily wrought Hitchcockian homage, with a well-calibrated balance of suspense, humor and pathos.

“What a gut punch of a movie in the best way,” writes Amanda. “A little messy at times, especially in the end, and some questionable forensics, but this is something I’ll definitely be revisiting.” The jury is still out on whether the ending—make that the many endings—worked, but for the most part Letterboxd members enjoyed the cat-and-mouseness of it all, along with its moral questionability. (AY)

You Cannot Kill David Arquette Directed by David Darg and Price James / Available on demand now

You Cannot Kill David Arquette is a rousing, eye-opening and mostly upbeat gawk at the life of the Hollywood star whose fortunes have lately run dry. Although he is out of shape and has very young children (and very cute Basset hounds) to think of, Arquette is desperate to reignite his love of pro wrestling. In a quest to prove to his heroes that he’s serious about the sport, the actor participates in backyard wrestling matches in Virginia, joins street-fighters in Mexico, and goes down a K-hole at the hands of health professionals.

“Arquette is searching for a shred of legitimacy in a world that’s always made him feel like a fraud, and by the end of this loveable, hilarious, and ineffably heartfelt doc it’s almost impossible not to believe in him,” writes David Ehrlich. As compelling a look at mental health as physical, the film benefits from the inclusion of conversations with those closest to Arquette (both of his wives feature), and there’s a heart-skipping scene involving the late Luke Perry. (GG)

Lastly, our team wanted to shout out to Daria Woszek’s Marygoround for the best end credits dedication of the year. Thanks, Fantasia! Roll on 2021.

[holden-norgorov]

Hey, it’s February 22nd 2019 and I feel like making another extremely long Sense8-related rant reminding all of you that:

#1. Kala was never in love with Rajan.

The narrative of her storyline is entirely focused on that almost in a heavy-handed way, to the point that I really struggle to believe than anyone could think otherwise. There is just a huge amount of facts supporting this, spreading from the pilot itself to the last episode of Season 02. In 1x01, she confesses to Ganesha that the only reasons she is agreeing to marry Rajan are: society’s (misguided) opinion on him and, most importantly, her parents’ happiness. In 1x05, she feels like she is metaphorically drowning (she is seen panting heavily) and going to prison by entering this marriage, hence the connection with Sun giving away her dog to her teacher and Wolfgang being literally underwater. In 1x06, Wolfgang reveals that Kala was actually calling for him hoping that he would stop her wedding because she didn’t want to go through with it; later she tries to trick Rajan avoiding the truth by acting like she was “undeserving” of being married after what happened and hiding her actual feelings about it. In 1x07, she literally says that the wedding’s interruption was a blessing from her God. In 1x11, Wolfgang clarifies the way she feels about her upcoming wedding: as something “inevitable” and “fated” to happen because of how her world works (something he says he can never understand, which is true because of his European perspective on it). In 1x12, Wolfgang decides to close the door on Kala and pushes her to dive into this unwanted marriage because it would be the safer choice for her. She marries to Rajan against her will. In 2x01, we can see that Kala is actually trying her best to make this marriage work despite not loving Rajan, to the point that she builds a “fake image” of herself just to please him – remember the way she dressed up and put make up on during her birthday night? A clear sign that she was actually hiding her real self under that – and agrees to have sex (that is unwanted from her) with him out of her marital duty. At this point she believes that a future with Wolfgang is impossible because of his rejection, so she is willing to try to make a life with Rajan because she feels like it’s the only choice she has left not to disappoint her family and society – hence why she actually shuts down Rajan when he addresses her lack of feelings towards him. In the snowball scene with Wolfgang, though, she opens up with him and confesses that she feels like a bad person because she can’t bring herself to love Rajan (“we have to change… become better people”). In 2x04, she realizes that not only is she incapable of loving him, but also that she doesn’t even enjoy the fancy life in society that he can provide to her: this becomes evident in the gallery, where she realizes how out-of-place her real self is – remember the awkward head tilt before quickly putting herself together? – and it’s also confessed to Wolfgang right after; she tells him that what would make her truly happy is not what society expects from her but “something else” and that she is “only pretending to be a good person”, addressing again how she built a fake image for her husband and society to see and for her to hide behind. In 2x05, she confesses to her dad that what would make her truly happy would disappoint her family and hurt her husband. In 2x06, she lets out that she considers her marriage a duty (“every-day rules”) and that her feelings for Wolfgang are so powerful that whenever she is with him, everything else fades away and she “can’t be trusted with her (real) thoughts”; Wolfgang calls her marriage a pretense (“pretending isn’t a life”), tying with what he discovered in 2x04 about her fake persona. In 2x08, she talks with Will about her marriage in a very detached and unemotional way – and Kala is someone who always emotes freely and intensely – taking it as a duty or job to perform; he reads her emotions and clarifies that her problem is that she doesn’t love her husband. In 2x09, she expresses disgust and serious discomfort to the idea of having children with Rajan. In 2x10, she decides to put her own happiness above everyone else’s for the first time and agrees to follow her feelings (Wolfgang) and telling Rajan the truth. In 2x11, she confesses her love to Wolfgang and states that she wants a new life (Paris) just for the two of them, before genuinely and freely smiling for probably the first time in the whole show. All of these are facts and, as you can see, are a lot. How anyone can claim that she genuinely loves her husband is actually beyond my comprehension and indicates a serious misunderstanding of her whole storyline.

This is also extremely clear aside from the narrative perspective and focusing only on the character itself. Kala’s attitude and behavior with both Wolfgang and Rajan is completely different throughout all the show, which testifies how differently she considers both men and, most importantly, how oppressed she feels by her culture. She spends two entire seasons avoiding any kind of confrontation with Rajan because of cultural indoctrination and a deep fear caused by her submissive position in the marriage (with Rajan being the beholder of the cultural power and authority, as I will address later on). She never speaks up about what she actually thinks or feels to him until the infamous expired-drugs episode in 2x07 – which not-so-casually happens after the conclusion of her bravery awakening arc in mid-Season 02, a case of excellent character writing and follow-through. The oppression she feels from her culture and its morality prevents her from dealing face-to-face with letting down a wealthy, rich and socially rewarded man who decided she had to be his conquest (prize) – this is evident in many occasions, mainly in the 1x02 balcony scene, the 1x06 conversation about their wedding (where Kala displays a serious inability to engage in a honest conversation with Rajan because of cultural dynamics), and many moments in the Christmas Special. Rajan’s cultural and social dominance is pivotal in understanding why Kala gets fearful and hesitant whenever she is with him, almost making it look like she is a weak person. But the viewers know she really isn’t, because they manage to experience the Other Kala – the real Kala – that shows up every time she is not around Rajan. This version of Kala is firey, combative, courageous; she easily makes a bomb out of kitchen supplies to kill several people (1x12), she lets a restaurant table on fire out of pure anger (2x08) and causes a car to explode out of bright intelligence (2x11); she proves to have exactly zero hesitance in making last-minute blockers while the man she loves is being held hostage (2x11). This is the real Kala, and she is brave and resourceful and always comes out whenever she is not with Rajan. Why? Because she feels and has always felt psychologically pressured by her culture and in a position of cultural submission towards him. Kala’s real enemy – the real obstacle she had to overcome to reach happiness and embrace her real self (i.e. destroy the fake persona she had to play in her marriage) – was always her culture and the effect that it had on her. It’s also worth pointing out the relationship Kala has with her temple, which is the only place where she can be herself freely (before developing her bond with Wolfgang), and this is not-casually because it’s also the only place where she is unreachable to Rajan (whose family is not only anti-religious but also actively trying to shut down that very same place – a fitting metaphor for Rajan shutting down the real Kala in her daily life throughout all the show). And the temple ends up being exactly the place where she becomes reachable to Wolfgang (alongside with her bedroom and her bathroom, all intimate places which are forbidden to Rajan up to Season 01 but that are naturally accessible to Wolfgang). Kala actually engages in a deep relationship with him, opening up about herself and having plenty of honest conversations about the real her – her festival experience and relationship with science and religion (1x07), her actual feelings and fears (2x04, 2x06, 2x11), her opinion on his violent methods (2x10): deep topics that help establishing a trust-based bond with Wolfgang that is meant to contrast with the sincerity and depth that her relationship with Rajan lacks. This was a case of gorgeous and complex storytelling that completely got lost with the finale. At last, it’s also worth noting that Kala normally emotes freely and naturally, especially when with Wolfgang, but suddenly always appears distant and shut-down with Rajan, a clear sign that she feels very differently for the two of them.

#2. Kala and Rajan had a toxic relationship.

I seriously don’t understand how this came to be completely unnoticed by a huge side of the fandom, but there is almost everything about Kala’s relationship with Rajan that is toxic and unhealthy. They embody exactly what a marriage shouldn’t be. This is extremely clear since the very first moment, according to how their relationship starts. Rajan (her boss) spots her, decides he wants her and fills her (i.e. his employee’s) office with a huge number of flowers for everyone else to see, putting her in an extremely unfair position – she can’t turn him down because of many reasons at this point: 1) she could lose her job and have serious damage on her career, which she personally values a lot; 2) she knows her parents want her to get married, so she would let them down as well by rejecting him; 3) he has a too solid reputation and is regarded as a way too influent member of his society; 4) she would likely encounter public shame from her co-workers and society as a whole by turning down such a big gesture by such a kind man. This is also India, not Europe or America, and mentality plays a huge role in this case. She gets trapped in this situation from the very beginning. Then, in 1x02, we discover more details about their relationship: Rajan reveals he knows Kala “never ever looked at me, not once” and “can feel her hesitation”, but decided he didn’t care about this and that his selfish desire to have her was too important – “the only life I want to live in is one where we can be together”. He exploits his cultural dominance to get what he wants, something that he has basically by default because of being a wealthy man, hence the “my father thought me that fortune favors the bold”. He basically pushes Kala on with this wedding despite already knowing that she doesn’t feel for him what he feels for her and just being okay with the idea that she will grow accustomed to him, highlighting how her feelings actually don’t matter to him at all. This is also the first sign we get that he is not interested in knowing Kala as a person, but just in owning her as a possession to show off, because he doesn’t take her feelings and opinions into account. This happens again in 1x06 after the fainting episode in the first wedding ceremony, when he completely dismisses what Kala has to say about it as non-important by shutting her down and imposing his own view over hers (“Kala, Kala, slow down… for me I loved what happened […] it was a part of the story, I just hope it is not the end of our story”). He keeps pushing despite knowing she doesn’t feel comfortable with what happened. In 1x11, he confesses that at first he wanted her because she wasn’t a suitable choice for his father, which seriously puts an even worse light on Rajan as a person, since Kala became the target of a conquest caused just by an act of rebellion – this speaks about how little he actually values women in general, including Kala, and finally makes us understand why he doesn’t even care about Kala’s inner self (opinions, feelings, thoughts). This new discovery, combined with our knowledge that he knows from the beginning that Kala doesn’t feel for him, ends up establishing him as a manipulative man who keeps exploiting his cultural power to psychologically pressure her in entering the marriage and, after that, not leaving it. He is a slimy, disgusting person whose outwardly pleasant behavior hides his inner desire to get Kala as his personal prize for society to see. This will be evident in many other occasions to come as well. In the Christmas Special, for instance, he shows he doesn’t care about having even actual conversations with her, because he goes asking her mother about her virginity, disrespecting her and (again) displaying the condition of ownership that he feels he has on her: he doesn’t treat her as a person with agency, but as an object. It’s worth noting his reaction when he gets called out on this: at first, he instinctively laughs it off as something completely superfluous (i.e. proving his spontaneous reaction to be careless about Kala’s agency as a woman), but as soon as he realizes that this is making her angry, he suddenly gets worried about a possible break in their marital status and readily apologizes in a completely moronic and unbothered way (“Kala, I’ve been an ass, please just forgive me”). This highlights that he doesn’t apologize out of sincere understanding of what he did wrong, but rather out of the fear that this could anger her enough to walk away from their marriage – which is exactly the same dynamic that happens again in 2x07, after the expired-drugs talk. Things later in the episode get ever worse because he bribes her into sex by throwing her a giant party and buying her an expensive necklace, showing that he actually didn’t care at all about the conversation they had before and that, once again, Kala’s feelings on this matter were completely unimportant to him: he just cares about getting what he wants from her. This is an extremely unhealthy and toxic dynamic: Kala ends up engaging in sex unwanted from her because she feels she has to repay him for her birthday celebration and because she feels responsible for his dick incident. This is not consensual. Going on with 2x04, we see how Rajan acts with Kala in a public place in society, the art gallery: he pushes her from behind as if she is unable to walk by herself and as if he wants to show off what he has, he doesn’t even introduce her with her name (he just calls her “my beautiful wife” when introducing her to someone she doesn’t know, which is extremely disrespectful and dehumanizing). Ajay even makes quite a sexist comment that Rajan unapologetically laughs at while Kala is shown to be quite disturbed by. In 2x05, Kala tries to talk to Rajan about work, but he once again completely shuts her down and talks to her in a very patronizing way, as if she was a child who can’t understand things. In 2x07, the confrontation between the two on the expired drugs issue happens and we get to know that the only reason why Kala was given a promotion is because Rajan could profit from her work to engage in illegal activities without her knowing. Kala is obviously furious and he once again acts very poorly. The same dynamic from 2x01 returns, but this time in an even more disgusting way (“Kala, you are even more beautiful when you are upset”). Rajan’s spontaneous reaction is the same as it was in the Christmas Special: careless, unapologetic and blind to the serious damage of his behavior. He realizes once again that he pissed her off (and really badly this time, because she actually walked away from him), so what does he do later? He buys her flowers and acts as if suddenly he was aware of how wrong his business practices were up to this moment – with entire years without even being bothered by the minimum thought of it? Please – and basically tries to manipulate her once again into not leaving their marriage. These are not sincere apologies on his misbehavior (for which he should honestly go to prison). This is just the ultimate attempt to win her back by exploiting her good-hearted nature and awake her pity – which he actually succeeds at, because Kala’s final look at him is one of pity. Once again: man fucks up, buys things, gets rewarded with pity and forgiveness, and it all gets repeated. This is a toxic relationship, it’s basically the cycle of abuse (more so knowing that she doesn’t even love him). At last, in 2x11 she is finally ready to talk things through with him, and for the umpteenth time he shuts her down and makes it about him (1x06 much? This is how he has always related to her). This marriage was a complete disaster up to 2x11, with many unresolved issues and unhealthy dynamics. These spouses were strangers to each other: Rajan never cared about knowing Kala as a person because he never loved her, but fell in love with the idea of owning her and showing her off; Kala never cared about developing a serious bond with Rajan because she never loved him and always considered her marriage as a duty to oblige to for her parents’ satisfaction. Rajan manipulated Kala for the entire show and constantly lied to her during all Season 02, Kala hid things from him – including an affair – for the entire show as well. Their relationship had problems such as sexism, objectification, lack of trust, lack of intimacy, lack of conversation, dishonesty, power imbalance, and none of them were resolved or clarified (let alone even addressed in the finale). Rajan was a terrible husband to Kala because he is a despicable person; Kala was a terrible wife to Rajan as well because she didn’t love him.

#3. The ending:

Pretended that their relationship was always healthy and almost unproblematic.

Depicted Kala as the only one in the couple held responsible for their relationship issues (“and I thought I was the one with the big secrets”). Sexist writing.

Completely erased Rajan’s 23-episodes-widespread misbehavior as if it never occurred, turning him suddenly in the best husband ever (ironically the way he was always depicted by his society).

Assassinated Kala’s whole personality and especially her bravery awakening arc in Season 02 which was the core of her whole character.

Turned Kala’s internal conflict with her culture into a love indecision between two men out of nowhere.

Depicted her as happy and willing to stay in a toxic relationship with a man she never loved out of gratitude and because he proved to be a “good guy”, despite this being the very exact reason why she could never fall for him since the beginning. Inconsistent writing.

Sold us the hysterical idea that someone as selfish, possessive and disrespectful of women as Rajan would agree to share his wife (which he considers a possession) with somebody else.

Completely destroyed Wolfgang’s whole personality and role in Kala’s growth and storyline, but this is not meant to be a post about him.

Hinted us many times – especially in the last half-hour – about Kala giving even more importance to Rajan than Wolfgang, which is completely incoherent with everything we learned about these three characters in the previous 23 episodes (and in the rest of this episode as well), to the point that it looked like she eventually kept him around just to spice things up in the bedroom with her husband, who she never even wanted to be touched by before. Wild writing.

So, I guess Kalagang fans have, in fact, every right to be grossed out by this resolution and complain about it without being laughed at and dismissed with the “it’s just a ship” comments. Kalagang was not “just a ship” happening between two characters in the background of their character arcs, as many other ships are: it was at the core of their character arcs. This was not a love story, but a love storyline. It was character-defining. Fucking up that destroyed both their characters. I think this post highlights that ours are not shallow complaints. What happened in the finale was offensive and extremely serious and problematic. Stop saying we should be grateful for it.

[thenerdparty]

Avengers: Endgame Film Review

Written by Shawn Eastridge Has it really been 11 years since the first Iron Man? The Dark Knight might have taken all the credit that year for revolutionizing the superhero genre, but Iron Man’s legacy has proved just as important. While other films in Phase One hobbled somewhere between decent and mediocre, Joss Whedon’s first Avengers exceeded any and all expectations. To this day, it stands as one of the greatest superhero films ever, and it paved the way for the remainder of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Over the course of the past decade, the MCU has seen its fair share of highs (Anything directed by the Russos), lows (Thor movies not directed by Taika Waititi) and everything in between. But through it all, Marvel Studios has maintained a consistent level of quality, conjuring up box office numbers that made Warner Bros SO JEALOUS they ruined Superman in the attempt to catch up. (Hey, WB: I’m still available to help get you on the right track with the Man of Steel. Call me.)

But now, twenty-two movies later, it’s all come down to this. We’re in the Endgame now, the long-awaited BIG FINALE to Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Let’s be real, though - we all know this isn’t really the finale. The MCU will chug on and on forever. In fact, we’ve even got another Marvel movie right around the corner. (That would be July’s Spider-Man: Far From Home) And while that knowledge does dilute Endgame’s overall effectiveness - can anyone ever stay dead in the realm of comic books - it seems foolish to recognize Endgame as anything other than a monumental success.

Seriously, this ‘conclusion’ to the MCU’s recently dubbed ‘Infinity Saga’ satisfies on nearly every level, fulfilling arcs set up in prior films and providing proper send offs for characters we’ve come to know and love over the past decade. Instead of collapsing under the weight of its ongoing 22-film arc, the Russo Brothers, along with screenwriting duo Stephen McFeely and Christopher Markus, rise to the challenge and then some, wrapping things up with style, grace and a surprising amount of emotion. That is perhaps the most pleasant surprise: Endgame is genuinely touching in the way it thoughtfully concludes this ongoing story arc. You may find yourself dabbing the corners of your eyes more frequently than expected through the film’s brisk three-hour runtime.

This isn’t all to say that Endgame is without its fair share of flaws - and there are plenty that I’ll get into during the spoiler section of this review - but honestly, the nitpicks feel so minor when compared to all the things that work. Marvel Studios hasn’t just raised the bar for superhero filmmaking and ‘big finales’ in general. They’ve obliterated it.

There. That’s my non-spoiler reaction. MASSIVE SPOILERS await you ahead. So, do yourself a favor: if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame already, see it. Immediately. If you have any fondness for any of the films in this massive franchise, there’s no way you’ll be disappointed. Once you’re in the know, come back and check out the rest of this review.

Sound good? Okay. Let’s push forward.

. . . . .

Where Infinity War brought the comic book action early and often, Endgame’s opening moments are more meditative and somber. Our heroes have just faced a crushing loss. They’re still reeling from the devastation of Thanos’s infamous Finger-Snap Heard ‘round the Universe. Nothing will ever be the same.

After staging an effectively heart-wrenching opening scene, giving us a brief glimpse at Hawkeye’s family life before his wife and kids fade into ash, the Russos keep the mood low-key and mournful for the duration of the film’s first act. Then we get one of Endgame’s earliest and best twists: within the film’s first twenty minutes, the Avengers find Thanos and discover he’s destroyed the Infinity Stones to prevent anyone from undoing his monstrous deed. In an empty gesture, Thor chops off the purple dude’s head. It’s a brilliant way to kick things off, throwing the audience for a loop and suggesting an ‘anything goes’ vibe to keep us on the edge of our seats.

The story jumps ahead five years(!!) to find our heroes scattered and broken, attempting to mend together the pieces in a world still devastated by its new reality. I loved that the Russos let us wallow in our heroes’ misery for a bit. You really get a sense of the loss they’ve experienced, that the entire world has experienced. These scenes offer some wonderful character beats and conversations, something that has always elevated Marvel above the rest of the pack.

Scott Lang, a.k.a. Ant-Man, escapes the Quantum Realm (you saw Ant-Man and the Wasp, right?) to discover a significantly altered world. But he brings a message of hope with him: the duration of time he experienced in the Quantum Realm was only 5 hours, suggesting the potential for time travel. Maybe they can find a way to fix the devastation Thanos has wrought by traveling back in time?

P.S. Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I love Paul Rudd in this movie? Ant-Man has been on the periphery of the MCU’s big events and to see him take on such a big role in this movie was a huge thrill.

This glimmer of hope inspires the band to get back together and it’s genuinely surprising where some of them have ended up. Bruce Banner has finally made peace with his meaner, greener side, resulting in Professor Hulk, a version of the character that maintains Banner’s intelligence and personality. Thor never overcame his grief and has spent the past five years descending into drunken slobbery and gaining a significant amount of weight in the process. This provides one of the film’s best sight gags. Plus, it’s maintained throughout! Kudos to you, Russos!

And then we have Mr. Tony Stark himself, the key to figuring out how to make time travel work. But he’s moved on. He and Pepper have an adorable daughter. He has absolutely zero desire to lose what he has. Ultimately the realization that he can save the lives of countless billions - including one surrogate son Peter Parker - drives him to support the cause.

Endgame’s 2nd act centers around the newly reassembled Avengers time-traveling into the past to gather the Infinity Stones, bring them to their future and use them to ‘un-snap’ their fallen comrades. These sequences are fun and light on their feet. They’re especially effective in lieu of the grim opening scenes.

Here’s the thing, though: As much as I love this portion of the film and the way the time travel stuff is handled, I couldn’t help feeling there was a general lack of consequence to everything that happened during this sequence. Even when things skew from the team’s set plan, it doesn’t feel like a significant snag or an insurmountable obstacle. These moments are treated as minor annoyances before our heroes carry on with a new solution, nary breaking their strides or a sweat in the process.

It’s all fun in a Back to the Future Part II kind of way, but it’s treated more as an extended comedy bit than anything else, and to a certain extent, this robs Endgame of some level of suspense. Plus, it’s time travel. Once you throw time travel into the mix, all bets are off, and I couldn’t help shaking that feeling. After all, what’s to stop them from using this plot device again and again in the future, consequences be damned?

At the very least, the wackiness of the time travel sequence is balanced with some great character beats. I loved Thor’s tender moment with his mom. I loved Captain America vs. Captain America. I loved that Tony gets a sincere heart to heart with his dad, offering some much-needed closure. Robert Downey Jr. has never been anything less than wonderful in this role, but his performance in Endgame might take the cake. Honestly, everyone brings their A-game to the table and these moments ground the sequence, keeping it from getting too bonkers.

This sequence is also balanced with a genuinely tragic moment: Black Widow sacrifices herself to get the Soul Stone. I don’t know why this scene has been stirring up some people, because here’s the thing: this moment works perfectly. Natasha (Black Widow) and Clint (Hawkeye) travel to Vormir to obtain the Soul Stone. As established in Infinity War, the only way to obtain said stone is to sacrifice the thing you love most. Clint’s willing to take the plunge. He’s become a monster in the five years since his family’s disappearance (but an awesome, katana-wielding monster) and he doesn’t feel he deserves to see them again. Natasha knows this isn’t true and she’s willing to sacrifice herself to ensure Clint gets his happy ending. After all, he saved her all those years ago. It’s time to return the favor. It’s heartbreaking, but it feels right and Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner sell every minute.

The plan is a success, but it's not without its snags. Past Thanos ends up getting involved when past Nebula tunes into future Nebula’s wifi and begins broadcasting everything future Nebula has seen, including the Avengers’ time travel plan. Thanos gets worked up into a tizzy and he and past Nebula devise a plan to get him into the Avengers’ future so he can ensure everyone snapped out of existence stays snapped out of existence. Also, why not wipe out everyone else in the process just for good measure? Because that’s what big, angry, purple maniacs do. Don’t question it.

Is it a bit weird that the Thanos the Avengers face isn’t the same Thanos so carefully fleshed out in Infinity War? Yeah, a little bit. To be honest, it makes things feel kind of impersonal. This Thanos feels more like the mysterious being teased in dozens of MCU post-credits sequence than the layered, thoughtful villain of the previous film. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it is what it is.

Ultimately, my biggest gripe with Endgame is the same gripe caused by Infinity War’s conclusion. We already knew the disintegrated heroes were going to come back for their obligatory sequels. Their arrival during Endgame’s epic battle to end all epic battles feels inevitable more than surprising.

And, look, let me be clear: Endgame’s climax is the ultimate superhero big battle you’ve been dreaming of since Nick Fury first name-dropped the ‘Avengers Initiative.’ I went nuts with the best of them when all our heroes returned from the abyss for this ultimate showdown, so understand my next criticism comes from a place of love. Once all the heroes show up, the stakes disappear. I didn’t have any doubt the Avengers would win. As a result, the climax is robbed of its suspense. It’s basically fan service to the nth degree, which again, I’d like to emphasize I was totally cool with. It just prevents the battle from conjuring up any emotional depth.

This isn’t The Return of the King. It's not the Battle of Hogwarts or the Death Star trench run or even the first Avengers' Battle for New York. It’s a big, flashy special effects extravaganza overflowing with crowd-pleasing beats, but lacking in genuine (here’s this word again) consequence. Again, I want to emphasize that I loved every second of it, but there’s a significant lack of loss during these scenes. Ultimately, Tony Stark sacrifices himself to save the universe and it’s absolutely BRILLIANT and heart-wrenching, but no one else seems in danger. Iron Man dies so that dozens of franchises can live on.

The remaining twenty minutes or so of Endgame are low key. We witness Tony’s emotional funeral, torches are passed (go, Sam Wilson, go!) and some unexpected-slash-exciting team-ups are teased (Fat Thor with the Guardians of the Galaxy? I am SO in.) But it’s during these quiet scenes that the Russos skillfully remind us what has always mattered the most: the characters. And I’m not going to lie, it’s difficult not to get choked up when Steve Rogers, a man who has sacrificed so much for the greater good, finally gets his happy ending, dancing the day away with the love of his life.

Big finales don’t get much more enjoyable or fulfilling than this. Marvel’s Cinematic Universe will go on and on and on. Inevitably, its quality will wane and fade, but we can rest easy knowing that the heroes that kicked everything off got the send-off they deserved. It might not be perfect, but it’s pretty damn great. Most importantly, it’s satisfying.

With the Infinity Saga, Marvel Studios has accomplished something extraordinary. They’ve touched countless millions across the globe without compromising the artistic quality of this multi-billion dollar franchise. We can rage on and on about Disney’s domination and how everything is just a corporate product and blah, blah, blah, but we’d be ignoring the fact that they got to where they are because they honored their source material and went out of their way to give the fans something special.

So to Kevin Feige and the entire team at Marvel Studios, cast, crew, writers, bean pushers, etc., I’d like to say thank you. You’ve earned every record-breaking penny. We love you 3000.

Now can someone please un-cancel Daredevil?? Come on!!

[kenneth-omega]

The Mistakes of Grief (part 3) Theseus Scamander x Reader

(Sorry for the unusually long A/N!)

A/N: Here is the third instalment of this on-going series! Don’t worry, this story is nowhere near done, with part 4 currently in the works! I couldn’t restrict this to only a three-part story and expect it to not feel rushed or crammed. So, I hope you enjoy this section and don’t get too tired of the few little POV jumps I have, I promise part 4 won’t have as many as these, I just find it makes the story work better and gives more depth for all the characters places in the plot. Also, I’m unsure whether the breakers I’ve put in before a POV hop will show up on mobile, so I apologise if it doesn’t work! x

If you’d like to be tagged in upcoming parts then just send me a message, or comment on any of the three instalments, that way I’ll definitely see it! x

Requests are open for any of the Fantastic Beasts characters!

Disclaimer: This only loosely follows the plot of FB:CoG so please don’t come after me because of inaccuracies. This is my own AU version.

Word count: 3894

Synopsis: You’ve allowed yourself to be roped into Grindelwald’s inner circle, fighting for your own cause whilst trying to also cope with the recent, muggle-related death of your brother. With Theseus and the others in London and you in Austria, Vinda Rosier’s plot to eliminate the people who stop you from wholly joining their cause is being put into place. Starting with a special announcement from Grindelwald and an open invitation.

Warnings: NONE, just some cute Newtina mentions

Part 1       Part 2       Part 4

Theseus couldn’t sleep.

For the sixth night in a row, everyone had fallen asleep before him and left him with his thoughts.

They were now staying at Newt’s house, with the group of remaining fighters having decided that they could no longer keep crowding up Nicholas Flamel’s house, despite his avid protests that he really didn’t mind.

Yusuf Kama, a wizard who Newt and Tina had encountered in Paris, had decided to stay a while longer with Flamel along with a young woman by the name of Nagini. She had revealed that she was a Maledictus and had nowhere to stay after fleeing the circus she’d been forced to perform in. She had been heartbroken after the rally, revealing that she’d been with Credence the past few months and had helped him through every problem he’d had, every ache and pain and the longing he’d had to find his lost family.

Newt of course, had shown an intense fascination in her ability to change into a gigantic snake, despite the sadness of her curse, and had asked if he could speak to her more about it at a later date, to which she had agreed.

The four people that had chosen to leave were himself, Newt, Porpentina Goldstein, or Tina as Newt referred to her as. The American Auror, and the Muggle Jacob Kowalski who Newt had managed to get caught up in his antics on his trip to America. Theseus had bitten his tongue about the numerous laws being broken about a Muggle having knowledge of their world, knowing that it would only fall on deaf ears.

Besides, Jacob himself wasn’t a bad man, Theseus had to admit, seeming genuinely interested and excited to learn anything wizard-related. Theseus had found himself on the receiving end of Jacob’s questions quite frequently the past few days.

Sitting up slowly from the sofa which Newt had offered him as a bed, Theseus ran his fingers through his curls which flopped down in front of his eyes. After the fight, Theseus had struggled to keep himself clean and well-groomed, all his usual quirks relating to his appearance had slowly deteriorated over the course of the week. He’d had to use a few spells recently to try keep himself looking presentable.

His usually pristine appearance was now dishevelled and crumpled.

Right now he was wearing a white cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the buttons undone. The absence of a tie and having untucked his shirt from his black slacks made him look like a dishevelled misfit student who refused to adhere to the dress code.

Much like Newt at school, he thought. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the number of letters sent from home, berating Newt for his detentions regarding his inability, or stubbornness, to dress himself to the code.

Theseus looked over at Jacob, who was currently sleep in an armchair, his head lolling back against the seat as he snored, a deep rumble that unfortunately didn’t help with Theseus’ current sleeping problem.

Tina was staying in Newt’s room, after initially refusing to take up that much space. This had resulted in quite possibly the politest argument Theseus had witnessed and the two of them butting heads for a good five minutes over whether she would sleep in there or not. Eventually Theseus had grown tired and made the decision for them.

His little brother was in the most obvious of places. Tending to his numerous beasts in his basement before eventually going to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

Picking up his pocket watch that lay on a small table beside the sofa, Theseus studied the watch face that informed him it was 4:32am. Newt would also be fast asleep by now.

Lying back down, Theseus stretched his arms experimentally, feeling how the ache in his shoulder protested at the movement. It still wasn’t truly healed; his shoulder having suffered from an injury from the albeit brief fight between you and him.

Ignoring the dull ache, Theseus hooked his hands behind his head and gazed up at the off-white ceiling for what felt like the hundredth time that night. The apartment was beyond warm and had there not been a woman staying in the house, Theseus wouldn’t have bothered wearing his shirt, but he found it extremely ungentlemanly to just parade around half dressed.

Giving into his exhaustion, Theseus settled finally, allowing his mind to wander back to the night when things went horribly wrong. When both he and Newt lost one of their closest friends. When a dozen Aurors died at Grindelwald’s hands and Theseus had watched helplessly as you slipped through his fingers.

Never again, he vowed. Never again would he let you go.

When the time came to rally up against Grindelwald once more, he was bringing you home.

“Queenie!” You exclaimed, upon entering the large gathering hall, glad to have found a friendly and familiar face. The exuberant blonde waved at you, standing up on the balls of her feet to find you over the heads of the dozens of people stood around, all talking amongst each other in hushed tones.

Merely a week after the rally, Grindelwald had called for his followers to come together and congregate at the castle.

He had an announcement.

Whatever it was, it was going to be big. Something considerably colossal in comparison to his stunt in Paris, and that idea terrified you greatly.

Upon your arrival, Queenie latched onto your arm with barely contained anticipation, looking towards the raised platform at the front of the room. You hazarded a guess that it was something originally used for entertainers who would come to perform for the residents of the castle.

Grindelwald hadn’t been seen much around the castle since the day you happened upon the man named Credence in that library. After you had left Queenie that morning, there had been a loud explosion and a minor panic amongst the occupants of the castle. Apparently it was just a rock slide, and surely enough when you looked out the window a large chunk of the mountain had disappeared, the rubble and dust settling into the valley below. But that didn’t explain the fact that you saw Rosier casting a fixing charm on one of the windows in the library.

The sound of cheers pulled you from your thoughts and you looked up to see the man who was feared by all but adored by many.

Neither you or Queenie cheered, instead waiting patiently for him to speak. You two were more than just his fanatics, more than this rabble of purebloods who thought themselves different and of some higher authority.

The man stood proudly in front of his audience, giving the slightest of bows as though he was preparing to deliver his own performance. He had the ambience of a bizarre conductor of sorts, about to lead you, his orchestra, into its next piece. His eyes scanned the crowd and found you, a smile on his face that oozed of something not wholly sincere. You couldn’t help but feel as though this speech wasn’t for anyone else in the room but you.

A direct message to you.

“Welcome, my children.” He began, sweeping an arm out across the room in a smooth, controlled motion, a greeting for all those before him.

Every single movement of his was calculated, planned and executed on key. He didn’t speak on improvisation, he didn’t act on instinct. He was tactical and shrewd.

“I’ve waited for this day for many years, when I could address a room full of the trustworthy and the loyal. To preach about why we are doing this. WhyIdo this.” He smiled, part of him relishing in all the eyes that were watching him, following his every move and drinking in every word.

“So…what do you believe I do this for?” Grindelwald paused, waiting for anyone to speak up who wished to do so. Nothing. Completely captivated.

It was almost too easy to manipulate their little, malleable minds, he thought to himself.

“Love.” A woman announced.

His eyes fell on Queenie, the origin of the voice that piped up and boldly was the first to do so. Everyone spun around to look at her, at the woman who had dared be the one to answer Grindelwald.

He nodded thoughtfully, remembering her sacrifice in Paris.

“Power!” A man shouted, which earnt some hollers of agreement. It took a few seconds for the noise to die down.

“Good suggestions, my passionate successors. However, not quite correct.”

Grindelwald walked across the platform towards the right edge, extending his hand to someone who had been hiding in the crowd up until now. Onto the stage stepped Credence, seemingly more confident than he had been a few days ago. He held his head high, his back no longer hunched in timidity. Queenie gasped. The crowd became rife with mutters. They were no strangers to the rumours.

When the two men had returned to Grindelwald’s original point, the ever-ominous man held the young boy’s hand aloft, fingers intertwined as if in a sense of solidarity.

“Equality.” He declared.

The room was deathly silent.

“Love and power are all aspects that I believe are needed to make the world equal,” He continued, “Muggles who seek to hate and destroy one another, they have to be eradicated.”

The threatening word hung in the air like poison.

Grindelwald continued his tirade. “For they do not know how to balance power with love. They greedily take one and spread that around as their slogan, something they believe justifies for their actions.” Grindelwald shook his head, seemingly disgusted at the thought.

You had to admit, everything he spoke of echoed with truth. You didn’t want Muggles gone, in fact you never saw them as anything less. But the ones who had taken what was not theirs to take? You couldn’t be so forgiving with them.

“Those wizards? The cowards, who hide behind their protective charms and push out anyone who speaks different?” Grindelwald released Credence’s hand, stepping to the front of the platform, the tips of his boots just hanging over the edge.

“Those who want to see us cowering in the shadows for centuries to come? We eradicate them too.”

Grindelwald turned to Credence, beckoning him forward before pulling him into an embrace. Credence lifted an arm and gently held him back, his face displaying that of someone impassioned by this small act of affection.

“You are equal, my boy.” Grindelwald whispered, still loud enough for the room to hear in the hushed room.

Grindelwald gestured for him to return to his original spot, his role in this sermon now fulfilled. Then he turned back to the crowd, arms raised up as though he were issuing a blessing on the room.

“We are going to demonstrate why we as wizards, as people, shall not be shunned into the dark. We will show the world…what we are!”

The cheers that began to rise slowly became deafening, as more and more the crowd became riled, their hatred, their adrenaline and bloodlust all tangible. You stood there, holding Queenie’s hand in the middle of the storm that was Grindelwald’s army.

Queenie was horrified, her gift allowing the voices of the minds around her to scream and fill her head with their personal turmoil. She couldn’t switch it off or block them out no matter what she did. You could only squeeze her hand in consolation adrift the raging waves of loathing.

“In three days’ time, I expect to see every single one of your faces.” Grindelwald’s accusing finger swept the room, lingering on you for a fraction of a second much to your discomfort. “Dress accordingly, my dears. For it is to be the funeral of discrimination!”

With those final words, he exited, the chorus of cheers and applause ringing in his ears.

He left, knowing that his work was done.

It was the eve of the demonstration and everything was in place.

Vinda Rosier stood back and admired her work from beneath her black cloche hat. The little trim of lace that came down across her eyes she had thought was a nice, if not slightly satiric, touch to her all black ensemble.

It was fitting for the occasion however.

After all, she thought, this was an execution.

With a small chuckle, she stalked out of the theatre and Disapparated. She only had one more job to fulfil for the night to be a success.

Theseus could hardly believe his ears when Newt announced that they had received a letter.

Not even ten seconds ago, there had been the sound of the letterbox rattling, an unusual noise for your average wizard, let alone his extreme introvert of a brother. So when Newt had summoned it from the living room where they were all occupying, the four people sat around were on tenterhooks.

“To the four occupiers currently inhabiting Mr Scamander’s residency,

Please note that you are cordially invited to the showing of Grindelwald’s Hinrichtung.

A once in a lifetime display and an opportunity not to be missed.

Simply tear up this letter and you will be transported to the host venue.

Dress code is compulsory.

Yours sincerely,

Vinda Rosier”

Newt read the small, daintily written letter out loud to the room, before passing it around for each person to read personally.

After Theseus had finished reading it, being the last to receive the letter from Jacob, Tina spoke up.

“It’s a trap.” She stated, no room for debate.

Theseus growled with frustration, standing up from his seat and stalking round the room, the letter still clutched firmly in his grasp.

Newt hummed in agreement with the woman sat next to him, picking at a new loose thread on his trousers, obviously something that had been done whilst he had been downstairs tending to his creatures.

Jacob spoke up, not wanting to dismiss the letter instantaneously. “Now hold on a second, Queenie could be there, at that hinrick…whatever.”

Tina sighed, knowing full well that her younger sister would definitely be there, but also being able to see that it was exactly for that reason they wouldn’t be going.

“That’s why we’re invited. Because the alluring possibility of our friends and partners being there is what they are counting on.” Tina argued, hoping to make it painfully clear that none of them would be attending.

Newt once again was in agreement, much to Theseus’ exasperation. Having had enough, he decided to speak up.

“Newt, you don’t get it, you have everyone you need right here.”

Que the incontrollable blushing from both Tina and Newt as they shifted awkwardly in their seats.

Theseus gestured to Jacob and himself, “Who have we got? Queenie left, Leta is-”

Newt stood up and was across the room in a flash, stood in front of his brother with such a fierce look of hurt and grief in his eyes that Theseus faltered in his rant.

“You and I both know that what happened that night was difficult to deal with, Theseus.” Newt not failing in noticing the guilt and hurt flash across his older brother’s face. “But don’t use her death as a reason for getting yourself killed. Don’t let her sacrifice be in vain, please.” He begged.

Theseus couldn’t stop the tear that fell down his face, the torment of such a loss still fresh in his heart. Without warning, Newt once again reached out and pulled him in for a hug. Theseus knew it was difficult and overwhelming for his little brother to be so forwardly affectionate, even towards family, and so he had quickly learnt to cherish the small moments like this.

“She’s out there, Newt. I have the opportunity to find her again. Don’t you remember the conversations we had as kids? How I used to get so delighted over something as little as her smile?”

Newt pulled away, a hint of a smile on his face as he recalled his older brother’s hopeless infatuation. He’d even spoke to Leta about it, the two of them having to listen to his paranoid rambling about unreciprocated feelings countless times growing up.

“I know this must be hard for you.” Newt didn’t fail to notice the way Theseus swiped the singular tear away quickly.

Theseus nodded, looking down at the scrunched-up letter in his hand, knowing that you were just a quick trip away made it so difficult for him to not just tear up the letter and be gone in a flash before they could stop him. But that was selfish of him to think of, and so he kept it firmly in his grasp.

Tina was the one to interrupt, still hoping to offer some reasonable advice.

“This doesn’t change the fact that it’s still incredibly risky, we can’t go and possibly risk our lives or theirs.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone weighed up the possible ramifications in their heads, until Newt spoke up.

“Tina, you stay here with Jacob, Theseus and I will go get the girls.” Newt suggested.

Tina and Jacob stood up in a flash, their expressions both mirroring the same expression.

Not a chance, Scamander.

Despite how humorous the moment was, Theseus knew it wasn’t the time to joke and instead shook his head firmly, siding with the other two’s obvious objections. He wasn’t willing to put his baby brother in harm’s way. He wouldn’t lose anyone else this week.

“You’re needed here, to look after your creatures and protect Tina and Jacob.” Theseus stated bluntly.

Newt began to argue, “Bunty can lo-“

“No!” Theseus snapped, silencing the younger man instantly. “Newt, if you’ve ever respected me as a someone who works in the Ministry, or listened to me as your brother, you have stay here.”

Theseus gently but firmly held his brother by his shoulders, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Promise me you’ll stay, or in the name of Merlin, not even Dumbledore will be able to stop me from reprimanding your stubborn ass.”

Jacob couldn’t supress the loud laugh that erupted at Theseus’ final remark. Even Tina hid her mouth with her hand so that Newt wouldn’t see the small smile that she was wearing. Newt’s face went a deep red as he flushed with embarrassment and horror at Theseus’ light threat.

A bit of light relief in such dark times was something that they were all grateful for.

Newt begrudgingly made his promise, allowing Theseus to finally let go of him and begin running around, grabbing his wand and anything else he thought he needed. He noticed your wand sat on the table, having retrieved it from his coat pocket after the fight, and picked it up to take with him.

“Multicorfors.” He muttered, pointing his wand at himself.

His crumpled shirt changed to a tight-fitting, jet-black dress shirt, with a light grey tie sliding around his neck and fashioning a traditional Windsor knot. His trousers pressed themselves to be clean and crisp once more, and with a final flick of his wand, his unruly waves styled themselves into his usual slicked back do.

Jacob gave him the thumbs up, an idiotically cheesy grin that Theseus couldn’t help but find contagious, making him involuntarily mirror the amusing Muggle.

“Why the all black ensemble?” Tina questioned, her expression perplexed.

Theseus couldn’t stop himself from laughing, albeit sounding slightly harsher than normal, as this really was no laughing matter.

“Hinrichtung is German for execution.”

“I don’t like this Queenie, I haven’t even got a wand to protect myself.” You hissed, stood by the steps of the stage with the ever-beautiful blonde, facing out towards the room. She too was dressed in black as was requested, but with a dark pink accents on her dress and the fascinator that dipped to cover her right eye. She held her wand between her fingers and was unconsciously twirling it, her nerves betraying her cool expression.

You couldn’t help but fiddle with the hem of your outfit as you watched more wizards file into the room.

Your clothes had been presented to you by Rosier earlier this evening, in a posh, designer box with paper wrapped around them for protection. It was an unusual ensemble, despite its obvious elegance.

Long and flowing black trousers that skimmed the floor, a black cotton shirt with a scooped neck and last of all a cloak.

Made of the softest velvet and lined with silk inside, it was rather heavy on your shoulders and felt like more of a restraint than a fashion piece. It had a hood, but you had opted to keep it down.

The theatre you were stood in was breath-taking, the ceiling having been hand-painted with a mural on the domed roof, angels and deities carved into the walls and supports around the room. There was gilding everywhere, on the railings of the higher tiers, around the stage and even on the seats. It truly was a thing of beauty.

You had arrived merely ten minutes ago, but already the spacious theatre was almost bursting at the seams with onlookers and fanatics, purebloods alike all under one roof and dressed in varying states of fashion and wealth, but all were clothed in primarily black.

Turning your head, you spotted the familiar faces of Carrow and Abernathy, the latter being up on stage observing out from where he was hiding in the wings, whilst the former stood at the opposite end of the room to you and Queenie, guarding the other set of stairs.

No sign of Rosier or Grindelwald.

Credence was not in attendance tonight, Queenie had told you, for what reason you didn’t know. But it had put you at unease.

As the doors at the back of the main room shut with a loud bang, the lights were cut, a few of the audience members’ cries of shock echoing out as the chatter died down instantaneously.

You could hear the sound of boots clicking against varnished wood resonating behind your head, and you knew someone was walking onstage under cover of the darkness.

Then, there was light.

A bright, white orb that flew outwards from the stage, levitating high above the crowds with a brilliant shine that illuminated the room, casting numerous eerie shadows amongst them.

You gasped, your amazement of the iridescent glow catching you by surprise. You were not the only one to gasp however, as hundreds of wizards looked on at the scene before them. Turning yourself to look upon the stage, your heart stopped in horror, it’s rhythm faltering inside you as every sliver of air was sucked out of you instantly.

There stood Grindelwald, in all his unorthodox glory, his wand raised as he had been the one to conjure the light that now illuminated him and the guest he had dramatically revealed onstage.

Their arms were bound behind their back and ankles restrained by rope. The chair they were strapped to didn’t budge no matter how much they fought against it, obviously enchanted with a fixing charm to keep it securely on its legs.

But it wasn’t the pinioned limbs, or the sheer look of terror in their eyes that caught your attention, it was the fact that you knew him.

You knew that face…

And it filled you with fear.

Tag List:

@igotmadskills @velairena @nightskywriter @sleep-i-ness @dreacantsleep @brittanymcsharry @iamtheonewhocares @mystrade-shipper

[popwasabi]

Remembering My Hero, Robin Williams, Five Years Later

Not terribly long ago I used to deride others for feeling sad in the wake of a famous celebrity’s death.

My argument would go something like in the grand scheme of things their deaths “didn’t matter” when compared to various other atrocities and terrible, tragic things going on in the world. I even wrote an entire opinion piece poo-pooing the general populace for being sad in the wake of Whitney Houston’s death waaay back in 2012 for my University paper back in the day all largely because since I didn’t feel anything no one else should essentially.

Then Robin Williams died.

Well, more accurately Robin Williams committed suicide then everything changed for me.

To this day, I can’t recall a single death that has affected or beat me down more than this famous, larger than life comedian’s all too early passing and it still eats me up every time I think about it even five years later. You see, Robin was something of a hero of mine, an uber talented and charismatic funny man who seemed to perform his comedy with the kinetic energy of a hurricane and his humor often brightened my darkest moments growing up.

For him to die the way he did was beyond devastating for me.

Every 90s kid grew up on his various memorable performances. Whether it was “Aladdin” as the Genie, Peter Pan in “Hook” or masquerading as a nannie to win his family back in “Mrs. Doubtfire” we all had one performance that made us all fans early on.

(For some reason I always remember “Flubber” first though haha)

I didn’t start to truly appreciate him though until high school when I discovered his comic stand-up routines from his earlier years. 

Despite not growing up in 70s or 80s his humor was nonetheless electric, unlike any previous comic I had seen up until that point and his impressions of Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon are still among my favorites. Live at the Met is an all-time favorite comic stand-up performance and much later Live on Broadway still has one of the greatest closing jokes ever:

(”Harder than Chinese Algebra” is definitely a line I’ve used in my college years)

What I loved most about his performances was that he could be boisterous and sincere at the same time. Being both genuine and vulgar simultaneously and in the best way. Weave bizarre character references into personal tales of his own life. Tell a multitude of hilarious stories and references at 100 miles a minute like a comedic roller-coaster ride that lasted the duration of his performances and you never wanted to get off it. It’s true when Time Magazine referred to his comedy as something all comedians loved and respected but could never in a million years duplicate. Robin was a one of a kind talent, the penultimate original, and fans loved him for it.

Robin did his performances with such natural gusto and spontaneous hilarity that it might shock you to know he always wrote virtually every line of his stand-ups before his performances. To bring that humor to life with such infectious joy takes real talent and no one can ever deny Robin was one of the best if not the best at it.

The remarkable thing is on top of his stand-up the dude was an all-time great actor on top of that displaying ranges from as absurd as “Death to Smoochie”  and “World’s Greatest Dad” to as sensitive and thought provoking as “Good Will Hunting” and “Dead Poet’s Society.” Robin wasn’t afraid to show a darker side either in famous roles such as “Insomnia” and “One Hour Photo.” His range was simply amazing.

(Personally my favorite^)

Like many high-schoolers, I was angsty teenager prone to hormonal anger and twitches, depressed I couldn’t score girls and that I wasn’t popular but at the end of the day I always had Robin to cheer me up. 

As I became more and more a fan I’d read more into his life learning I actually had quite a few things in common with the famous funny man from a love of all things sci-fi including even anime and Warhammer to a deep appreciation of video games as he famously named his daughter Zelda after the titular Nintendo princess of the same name.

He was not just a comedian to me; he was one of us. America’s favorite funny, semi-secretly nerdy uncle and I loved him for it.

(The sweetest Nintendo commercial ever. #uglycrying)

I would carry my love of this magnificent comedian into college where I would routinely re-listen to his greatest hits when I was at my lowest of lows and boy did I have plenty of them during this period of my life and many of them revolved around suicide.

For reasons that are too personal to expand on, I had a friend who I was close with early in college who had some deep mental health and abandonment issues. She would constantly fear the worst out of others’ intentions and whether I would stick around with her to help her through it all in life. This put a heavy drain on myself and eventually it broke me enough to just attempt to cut her out of my life.

So, she threatened to kill herself when that happened.

If you’ve never tried talking someone down out of suicide before it is by far the scariest thing I have ever had to do and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. To try to reason with someone who is convinced that their life is meaningless that no one cares about them that they are better off dead than alive is unlike any terror I’ve ever experienced. What scared me the most was what I would do with myself if I failed to talk her down. Could I live with myself if I couldn’t do enough to save this person? Is the blood on my hands too since it was my actions that drove her to this point?

Well, long story short, I did succeed in talking her down but it left a tremendous mark on my soul that I don’t think I’ll ever forget (it also would not be the last time this would happen). I did eventually move on from this person (for both our sakes) but the depression it left within in me still stings.

There are limits to emotional dependency that we should all understand and in my need to fix everything for those I cared about I started not to care about myself and it damn near killed me. You should always try to feel empathy and help those who are need but you can’t forget about yourself in this regard because it will destroy you too. Painfully and slowly.

That semester I listened to probably more Robin Williams than I ever had in the past. His humor keeping me from being an unfeeling zombie and my mind from breaking from the stress of that year (there were other events that compounded what was going on.) Robin kept me going, kept me laughing in a period I didn’t have a lot to feel joyful about and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

Then a few years later, as well know now, on August 11, 2014 Robin took his own life.

Like most everyone else I was shocked, distraught, and in total disbelief. How could a man who had seemingly endless joy and lived by all measures a far more successful life than most people ever would feel the need to kill himself? 

It was tragic beyond comprehension.

The aftermath of course was an outpouring of love and support to the Williams family particularly his children but there was also the detractors as well. People who denounced him as some sort of coward for taking his own life, Christian zealots who believed he was rotting in hell for his sin and all matter of bad takes regarding him being too privileged to be depressed. It was infuriating and broke my heart all at once. Here was a man who more than most probably deserved a happy ending, dead by his own hands and now subjected to dumb moronic statements by people who probably will never understand what depression does to someone.

You’d would only need to a modest amount of research to understand where Robin’s depression could come from though. Despite growing up in an affluent household his father and mother were rarely there with him, raised practically by the maids in his household and by himself most of his childhood. He had survivor’s guilt for being in the same room John Belushi died in many decades prior (which would become a wake-up call for his own drug addictions). Also, he was great friends with the late Christopher Reeves who went to school with him Julliard and that shouldn’t require too much explaining there.

(Personal pain never stopped Robin from lampooning himself of course)

But the real death knell probably came at the end when months prior Robin’s suicide he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia Association and early stages of Parkinson’s disease. Now anyone being diagnosed with these conditions would be devastating by itself but if you frame it in the mind of Robin Williams, a man who’s comedy and charm relies almost entirely on spontaneous-ness, extreme attention to detail and constant joy this is like losing the very thing that made you who are, what people love you for; your core identity. 

Robin was no longer going to be Robin.

I’m not asking people to like suicide or accept every instance of it but people should try to understand why and not judge others for it. Sometimes the demons are just too strong and we can’t fault others especially a mind as crippled as Robin’s was at the end.

If there’s one positive that came out of Robin’s suicide, it’s that the conversation on depression and mental health has notably shifted since that time. In the years since, it’s more acceptable now to feel sad no matter what your background is; you didn’t need to be a coal miner with black lung or a soldier with PSTD to be acceptably depressed anymore (and no, before any of you start I’m not judging those people). Athletes and celebrities alike such as Demar Derozan, Ryan Reynolds, Serena Williams, and Chris Evans have all come out about their own personal struggles with their inner demons. It’s now okay more than ever to feel inadequate even if on paper you have ever reason not to feel that way.

Though society hasn’t become completely understanding of mental health issues yet society is still a lot more open about it than it was before at least. It’s not a silver lining, don’t make that mistake with what I’m saying, but it’s comforting in a strange way knowing that even in death Robin can inspire positivity.

It’s a shame and tragic that Robin didn’t get age gracefully into his twilight years and given the current state of the country and the world as a whole we could definitely use that trademark wit to lampoon our reality right now but I’m glad that Robin helped keep me going in my most formative years.

(I mean seriously though, could you imagine Robin getting a crack at this motherfucker today on stage?)

It’s not hyperbole to call Robin Williams one of the greatest entertainers of all-time and though his time in this world was cut short by his own hand he has still left an indelible mark on myself, his fans and the rest of the world. Depression and mental health is a fact of life, generally speaking all of us will struggle with it at some point but if we can get help early and not be afraid to ask for it or even cry for it then maybe the world won’t feel so dark for us all.

So please, let’s all remember to take care of ourselves whether that’s seeking friends or professional guidance. There is strength in sadness, power in grief and love when you are lonely. You owe it to yourself to seek help and trust me, there’ll be arms open to bring you in.

Because you matter.

Thanks, Captain.

[dweemeister]

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Sometimes the best comedies are not the ones that you laugh the hardest over. In George Cukor’s The Philadelphia Story, the film’s situational wit leaves pleasant aftertastes from scenes – comedic and otherwise – that draw an unsuspecting viewer in, making them care about the central characters (who live comfortably in socioeconomic settings few experience) in unexpected ways. Constant belly laughs are not what one will get from this movie, but instead middling chuckles and smiles realizing the ridiculousness of the plot, the sincerity in what the movie wishes to say. Released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) and based on the stage play of the same name by Philip Barry, The Philadelphia Story is one of the great comedies from classic Hollywood – in no small part due to its source material and adaptation, but most importantly its three central performances.

As the daughter of a Philadelphian socialite family, Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn; labeled “box office poison” by the Independent Theatre Owners of America after the financial failure of the now-beloved Bringing Up Baby and other films) is engaged to the fabulously wealthy, but uptight and overly content coal baron George Kitteridge (John Howard). Tracy divorced her first husband, C.K. Dexter Haven (Cary Grant) two years ago for not meeting her lofty standards. But Dexter is about to make a surprise reappearance in Tracy’s life, as he is acting as a family liaison between the Lord family to Spy magazine reporter Macaulay “Mike” Connor (James Stewart) and photographer Liz Imbrie (Ruth Hussey). Mike and Liz are there to cover Tracy’s wedding – part of an elaborate blackmail scheming involving the magazine’s publisher (Henry Daniell) and the Lord patriarch’s (John Halliday) brush with adultery. As the hours pass, Tracy begins to question whether she is marrying George for the right reasons, all while finding herself attracted to Mike and pondering whether her standards were indeed too inflexible for Dexter.

Despite Hepburn being an unwanted commodity among Hollywood executives, she still exerted significant influence in choosing George Cukor as director and Donald Ogden Stewart as screenwriter. Hepburn even chose her co-stars, Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. This arrangement was made possible because Hepburn – through Howard Hughes – held the rights to the original stage play, selling them to MGM’s Louis B. Mayer at a discount of $250,000. The discount came with stipulations: that Hepburn have final say in the film’s producer (Joseph L. Mankiewicz... the man responsible for the scene’s opening minutes that involve a broken golf club and a facial shove less invidious than James Cagney’s), director, screenwriter, and cast. Female Hollywood moguls were more common in the silent era, and here was Hepburn making decisions as one, albeit for only one film.

These decisions result in an outstanding ensemble performance, particularly from the leads. It is difficult to talk about each performance in isolation, given the richness of Donald Ogden Stewart’s dialogue and how each lead has a different approach to another. For Hepburn, the snootiness that must come with having an obscene amount of money is broken quickly once Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, and Ruth Hussey arrive. She is a forceful personality, who believes she knows what she wants, then arriving – upon further reflection made impossible by John Howard’s character – to conclusions that make her question not only what she wants, but what she needs (surprise, surprise... these things are distinct!). Screwball circumstance has dissolved pretense. In her vulnerability, she grows and comes to greater understanding. Hepburn’s exchanges with Grant are irresistible. Though the two are not as funny here as in Bringing Up Baby, the scenario and their characters in this film are less (using a word from my Bringing Up Baby review) “airheaded”; the proportion of loving overtures here is reversed (Hepburn piled on a vast majority of the romantic flirting in Baby; Grant is more restrained here but it is he who talks of his love most). There is a sense of loss that defines both Grant and (eventually) Hepburn – especially the former. Grant plays Dexter as a wiseass here for a job and resolution. He argues with Hepburn, but never does it devolve to fighting. Love is not safe, states Dexter. Few actors other than Cary Grant could argue with a fellow romantic lead, roll their eyes during dialogue, and make arguments funny without being demeaning.

Jimmy Stewart and Ruth Hussey have an understated chemistry that gradually reveals itself. Stewart, lucky he, is charmed off his feet by the entire lead cast – and yes, that includes Grant in one of the rare instances he makes someone of the same gender starstruck (not sexually, of course, because one couldn’t do that in a ‘40s movie... if you’re a romantic fanfiction writer, this movie is for you!). Some of Stewart’s interactions with Grant seem borderline flirtatious, threatening to overshadow a hilarious off-screen swimming quasi-tryst that occurs in the film’s final third. For Jimmy Stewart, this would be one of the last times playing a youthful romantic lead – a type of role he would dabble less frequently in after returning from his wartime Air Force service. On the sidelines according to film’s billing but not in the film’s functions, Ruth Hussey – as Liz – seems to be the only one who has everything figured out. Liz is The Philadelphia Story’s most neglected character in the film’s love pentagon, and Hussey portrays the character as being the least uncomfortable in this complicated emotional puzzle playing out in swanky surroundings. But just because Liz is neglected by the characters does not mean she is inessential. She prevents The Philadelphia Story from lifting off to flights of comical and narrative fancy – grounding the film for those who do not see themselves in any of the other main characters. Just as an actor need not be sensational to be effective, Liz demonstrates that love need not be sensational either.

Joseph Ruttenberg’s (1940′s Waterloo Bridge, 1944′s Gaslight) cinematography lends sensuality to the nighttime scenes. His camera moves slowly, gracefully through the interior of the Lord household and its grounds. Soft lighting is used once, in a moment of intoxication and innocence that seems like genuine romance at that given time. Cedric Gibbons’ (MGM’s premier art director) work, as it almost always is, is stellar. But technical achievements aside, it is the strength of the writing that powers The Philadelphia Story.

Certain readings of the film criticize The Philadelphia Story as undermining Tracy – her agency and desires – as soon as Dexter makes his entrance. Take these lines between Tracy and George:

GEORGE: You're like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You're so cool and fine and always so much your own. There's a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue. TRACY: George... GEORGE: Oh, it's grand, Tracy. It's what everybody feels about you. It's what I first worshipped you for from afar. TRACY: George, listen – GEORGE: First, now and always. Only from a little nearer now, eh, darling? TRACY: I... I don't want to be worshipped. I want to be loved.

The introspection Tracy delves into forms the heart of The Philadelphia Story – not Tracy’s father and his infidelities, not the precocious, farcical comedy from Tracy’s teenager sister Dinah (Virginia Weidler). In this introspection she never abandons her independence, sophistication, or ferocity. Donald Ogden Stewart’s verbose, uncharacteristically (for a screwball comedy) long screenplay allows time to better understand the masculine chaos revolving around her. Being with George – suffocating her with his worshipping ways – has prevented her from understanding her past and (to reiterate an above point) the difference between what she wants and what she needs. She is not settling nor bending to anyone else’s demands, all while realizing love is never zero-sum. It requires generosity of spirit, a commitment to understanding. What Tracy undergoes is not sacrifice, but personal growth.

While negotiating with Katharine Hepburn for his appearance in this film, Cary Grant demanded that he receive top billing for this film. Hepburn acquiesced, but Grant’s intentions were more honorable than you might think. His entire $137,000 salary (a hefty wage in 1940... ~$2.47 million in 2018′s USD) was donated to the British War Relief Fund. A charming rascal though Grant might have been on-camera, his motivations to appear in The Philadelphia Story were always honorable. And with The Philadelphia Story, Katharine Hepburn – defying MGM’s expectations and proving her former employers at RKO wrong – delivered a critical and popular hit. Her negative reputation was behind her, with the Time Magazine review reading: “Come on back, Katie, all is forgiven.” An MGM contract awaited. So did one of the most lauded acting careers in Hollywood history.

For those reading to this final paragraph and are still skeptical of The Philadelphia Story, I offer a personal note. Being an ardent fan of Turner Classic Movies (TCM), The Philadelphia Story makes frequent appearances on TCM’s schedule – given the size of TCM’s library, “frequent” means three to six times a year). Having heard so much praise for the film and being high on my watchlist, this was one of those handful of movies I had been putting off for years. The timing of my first viewing has inspired mixed feelings: I’m glad I waited, into my mid-twenties (because I would’ve dismissed this as saccharine ten years ago), but I also wish I had known how much I needed this film earlier. There’s that word again, “need”. This is a shining example of the best of Old Hollywood’s approach to romantic comedies – nothing cruel or insulting in its humor. It may not be the funniest comedy either, but comedies are more than just inspiring laughter. Step away from your expectations. From there, you, like Tracy, might just be able to see those less visible things than mean the most.

My rating: 10/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. The Philadelphia Story is the one hundred and forty-fifth film I have rated a ten on imdb.

[rickrakontoys]

Pre-Infinity War MCU rankings

How I'd rank the current 18 movies, from my least favorite to most favorite, with some brief thoughts:

18. The Incredible Hulk (5/10): I barely remember this one... and I dont like Hulk's look here. Liv Tyler gasps all her dialogue. Ed Norton did an ok job I guess, but I didnt get much of a lasting impression.

17. Iron Man 2 (6/10): I remember being extremely annoyed by Tony and his behavior, and the blatant Avengers setups. Least we got War Machine out of this. Whiplash could have been great if he didnt have to share the villain role with Justin Hammer. (Also, without this mess, we wouldn't have gotten Jon Faverau's amazing film "Chef", which was made in response to his frustrations making IM2)

16. Thor: The Dark World (6/10): Forgettable plot and villain. Some chuckle worthy scenes. Not sure what else there is to say. You could tell the movie was butchered trying to fit Loki into the plot. There is barely any chemistry between Thor and Jane.

15. Thor (7/10): Decent intro to the characters and world of Asgard. But the movie looks strangely cheap, especially the New Mexico town. I never felt Thor and Jane could be a thing, despite their performances being good. The cast all around was terrific too (Hopkins as Odin is great). Loki was a great, tragic villain though. Thor breaking the bifrost is immediately undone by the Avengers...

14. Iron Man 3 (7.25/10): I enjoyed the deconstruction of Stark and common comic book tropes. What they did with the Mandarin was pretty ballsy and I respect that. I don't even remember the true villain's name... Having Tony deal with PTSD was also interesting.

13. Ant-Man (7.25/10): Surprising that this worked at all. Pretty fun ride, if a tad generic. Cool shrinking visuals. I look forward to the Wasp.

12. Doctor Strange (7.5/10): Again... plot is generic as hell. Forgettable villain. But very cool visuals. And I love the leitmotif and main theme music.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron (7.75/10): I loved Ultron but felt he could have been a bigger threat. The middle of the movie plods... badly. Some wasted potential for sure. The third act action is comic book action nirvana. You could tell the movie was meddled with by the studio... I don't blame Joss Whedon at all for the film's shortcomings. He was obviously frustrated with it too.

10. Spiderman Homecoming (8.25/10): Gives us a great young spidey and a terrific villain. Seriously... Michael Keaton makes this movie work. The scenes with Peter and Tony are good. The supporting cast is good too. I wish they gave spidey a more memorable theme song for the movie.

9. Captain America: The First Avenger (8.25/10): I don't know why this movie resonates with me more than with other people. The look of the movie is gorgeous. The themes sincere. The music is wonderful. The performances are memorable. This movie showed us that Chris Evans was the perfect man to play Captain America. Hugo Weaving gave us a menacing yet charismatic Red Skull. One too many montages though. "The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan" is seriously catchy! Classic Disney songwriter Alan Menkin helped write it... no wonder!

8. Guardians of the Galaxy (8.5/10): How could a movie with a talking raccoon and a senient tree man be this good? Its all about the building of a family of friends, borne from people with broken pasts. Ronan is utterly forgettable, hence why I rank it here. The supporting cast is otherwise stellar. And the soundtrack... now thats how you integrate it into a movie's soul.

7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (8.75/10): Took the characters of the first movie to new places. Elevated them, broke them down, made them weep. The jokey dialogue can get grating. But thematically wonderful. Lots of small touches that gives life to even the most minor of characters. Everyone has an arc! Ego is a fascinating fellow, and seems genuinely likeable, until the revelation of his madness. The Sovereign are pompously silly and didn't amount to much of a threat (though I dont think they were supposed to be). The cinematography is sublime. The colors intense and vibrant. The soundtrack used impeccably. Just a wonderful piece of cinema. Others may disagree about it, but I rate it highly. It feels like a personal film by James Gunn.

6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (8.8/10): Truly great and heartfelt while being relevant to the current times. A movie that brought Cap to the modern age, while haunting him with a spectre of the past. It just works on so many levels. Alexander Pierce didnt leave a big impression as the villain despite being played by Robert Redford. Could have been more intimate exploration of Cap and Bucky's relationship. Despite being called "The Winter Soldier", the focus is more on the fall of SHIELD... At least this gave us Falcon and some cute chemistry between Steve and Natasha.

The TOP 5 were very hard to place...

5. The Avengers (8.8/10): That this movie worked at all is a miracle. That it was actually infinitely watchable is amazing. This was the sign that the MCU ahead was heading to good things. The cast was excellent together. The dialogue refreshingly snappy. It made Loki into a staple of the MCU. The Avengers theme was memorable. Lots of fan service without it being intrusive... the middle act can be a bit slow, but it is otherwise nicely paced and tonally even. The look of the movie can border on TV production values at times... but it manages to overcome any shortcomings by being so darn fun.

4. Captain America: Civil War (8.8/10): This movie broke down our well-known heroes and gave us a villain in Zemo that is mysterious, tragic, and understated. Revenge permeates the themes of the movie, but the true heart of the movie is friendship and Cap's desire to hold onto the final relic of his past, Bucky. Motivations are clear between most of the characters and neither side of the conflict is right or wrong. Some Avengers are just along for the ride, but everyone nonetheless has a moment to shine. New characters are introduced (mostly) seamlessly (T'Challa is woven into it naturally, Spidey... not so much but he leaves a great first impression). The airport battle was a fantastic bit of fan service fun before the gut wrenching emotionally driven climax. The final showdown between Cap and Iron Man was like watching two parents fight over a child. This is a comic book movie that had ideas, and though it didn't totally follow through on some concepts like the Sokovia Accords, it did give us an emotional rollercoaster that built upon our pre-existing attachment to the characters. This movie was a true culmination of all that came before.

3. Thor Ragnarok (8.9/10): This movie felt the most fun and thoroughly enjoyable out of all the MCU. It may not be thematically challenging or very deep, but it isn't trying to be. For pure intentions, it accomplished what it sought to: make a fast and funny Thor-Hulk buddy comedy, and reinvent the God of Thunder as a likeable, dunderheaded oaf. Hela seeths with sultry menace. Korg is simply a treasure. Valkyrie is a drunken badass. Grandmaster is.... Jeff Goldblum. The score is the best in the MCU, instantly setting the tone. Led Zepplin's Immigrant song used twice to great effect. Quotable, hilarious dialogue. Korg. Taika Waititi injected new life into the MCU after a few serious installments. This reminds me of the goofy "fun" episode of a series before the finale. I love this movie!

2. Black Panther (8.9/10, bumped up after my second viewing): Epic world building and a villain that outshone the hero for once. It may have its flaws in plotting and pacing (the first hour is meandering), but what it tried to do is highly admirable. The supporting cast is great. The look of the movie is utterly beautiful. The action scenes are the least interesting part of the movie oddly enough due to bad execution and dodgy CGI. It has plenty of ideas regarding Wakanda and its place in the world, and the duty to use great power to help others. Killmonger should have been the chief focus beside T'Challa... You can tell Ryan Coogler made this film with his full heart. This is the only MCU film to make me tear up. With a few tweaks it could have been the best of the MCU.

1. Iron Man (9.5/10): Nearly everything here works. Robert Downey Jr. is perfectly cast, and turned Tony Stark into a household name. There is genuine chemistry between him and Pepper. Obadiah Stane is a likeable yet menacing villain (Jeff Bridges playing a bad guy?! He's terrific at it!). The action scenes are exciting and not too overdone. The score is energetic (why isn't Iron Man's leitmotif from this movie used more often?!). This movie wasn't bogged down with setting up a universe. It was allowed to be its own thing. But from this success, all the rest followed.